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October 01, 2004

Joe Lockhart - Poisoning the Soup?

Joe Lockhart was brought on in the cattle call of ex-Clintonistas assigned
to help Kerry. I'm becoming more and more convinced that Lockhart is a
saboteur, sent in to mess with the dials and run the good ship Kerry into
the shoals. Consider --

First, Lockhart is ensnared in Rathergate, chatting up Bill Burkett in
return for Burkett handing Mary Mapes documents that excoriated Bush in the
Guard because Bush was shirking his duties to watch "Hardcastle and
McCormick."

Next, when Prime Minister Allawi comes to speak to Congress, Lockhart
snickers "You can almost see the hand underneath the shirt today moving the
lips." Lockhart's hilarious dig was shoved in Kerry's face at the debate.
Presidential candidates aren't supposed to endure the droppings of their
fat, central casting hacks during debates.

Later, Lockhart revealed that Cher called him up to say he was too fat to
represent the campaign on TV. (Cher is wrong, by the way - Lockhart looks like Bill Parcells with Grave's disease)

And now, Lockhart offers post-debate analysis such as ""Judging from the
smirk on George Bush's face, I think he may have to spend a little bit more
time with the briefing book, a little bit more time in debate prep, as we
get ready for a town hall meeting."

Kerry's advisers can be pretty woeful. Tad Devine always looks like Gary
Oldman in Dracula right after Keanu Reeves cuts himself shaving. And Bob
Shrum is the George McClellan of presidential campaigns. At what point do
Democratic candidates respond to his calling card with "Aren't you Rich
Kotite?"

But if Lockhart gets caught flouncing about in a Tereeezzzzzzza ensemble on
the campaign bus singing "Respect" and then laughing, 'Look at me! I'm an
African-American!" then don't say you weren't warned.


digg this
posted by Ace at 09:38 PM

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