Even AP Quotes an Expert Judging the Docs Forgeries | Main | All in 24 Hours: Freepers, Drudge, Bloggers, and Alternate Media Readers/Posters Bring Dan Rather Down
September 09, 2004

Top Ten Other Signs Dan Rather's "Documents" Are Forged

10. The letterhead on one document features rainbows, bunnies, and unicorns, as well as the legend "From the Desk of Chris Lehane," which, in retrospect, probably should have raised more eyebrows

9. Letters from military men usually conclude with the farewells "Respectfully" or "Sincerely;" CBS' letters concluded with "Party on, Garth!" and "Pull my finger"

8. Chemists have identified a substance on the documents as the stable isotope of elemental bearclaw (Krispykremeum 244); Michael Moore is currently sought for questioning as a "person of interest"

7. The President in 1972 was Richard M. Nixon and not, as one memo seems to imply, Frank "The Riddler" Gorshin

6. One memo misidentifies George Bush's unit as "the Decepticons," and incorrectly states he was grounded for "improperly transforming his plane into a giant space-robot without authorization"

5. Fiber evidence indicates the documents were transported in Sandy Berger's underpants

4. An addendum to one memo ponders whether Ross and Rachel will ever get back together

3. The documents refer to other military officers whose existence cannot be verified; a search of military records has not so far disclosed a "General Firstguy," an "Admiral Secondguy," or a "Lieutennant Colonel Phoney McFakerton"

2. At least two documents contain an inordinate number of direct quotations from 1999's Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

...and the Number One Other Sign the "Documents" Were Forged...

1. While reading the documents during his report, Dan Rather kept giggling like a schoolgirl on goofballs

Special One-Time Triumph-of-the-Blogosphere Bonus Entry!:

0. In a move widely seen as a tacit acknowlegement the documents are in fact forgeries, CBSNews just hired a new producer to "supervise" Dan Rather: Vinny Falcone

digg this
posted by Ace at 11:54 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Serious Cat: " This will only help Trump. Very few of his Twee ..."

Max Power [/i] [/b]: "The Hawaiian judge will rule that Trump HAS to kee ..."

Skip: "DJT is more loyal and true American than any of th ..."

mikeyG [/i]: "[i]I almost spit soda all over my monitor and desk ..."

Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview: "A federal investigation into their corrupt voter r ..."

LeftCoast Dawg: "By the way, Tim Pool talked about the possibility ..."

Trump poisoned my cat: ""281 Wonder how the DoJ investigation into social ..."

BackwardsBoy does whatever his television tells him[/i][/s][/b][/u]: "[i]A federal investigation into their corrupt vote ..."

TrivialPursuer: "P.S., today's Project Veritas report has a CNN swa ..."

13times: "..287I almost spit soda all over my monitor and de ..."

Bertram Cabot, Jr.: " [i]Clinton sued that guy and his robots for maki ..."

LeftCoast Dawg: "287 Ceded California to the progs Whoa ho ho ho ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64