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August 26, 2004
North Korean Press: Kim Jong Il "Could Have Won Olympic Gold"
He's an ace marksman, apparently, and he would have easily won the gold if Olympic rules did not bar superheroes like the Flash, Hulk, and Kim Jong Il from competing.
Remember: This man shot thirty-eight-under-par his first time golfing. (That's not a joke-- that's what the NK Press actually reported and stands by.)
And that's not the limit of his triumphs. (Okay, this one is a joke.)
Life Imitates Top Ten Lists: I am sometimes scary-prescient:
3. Insists he could enter and win the Tour de France, "if he felt like it"
Okay, the Olympics aren't the Tour de France, but I did get the "if he felt like it" part correct.