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August 10, 2004

But I Bet They Know How To Put a Condom on a Banana

California private "alternitve" school for Latinos forced to shut down its phoney diploma operation, after teaching kids a whole bunch of "facts" that aren't so factual.

Good stuff:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A chain of private California schools that taught immigrants there are 53 U.S. states and four branches of the U.S. government was ordered to stop handing out phony diplomas this week, state Attorney General Bill Lockyer said on Friday.

...

The company charged its mainly Latino students $450 to $1,450 for a 10-week course based on a 54-page book that was riddled with errors, according to a lawsuit filed on Monday.

Students learned that Congress had two houses -- the Senate for Democrats and the House for Republicans; that the U.S. flag had not been updated to reflect the addition of Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico to the "original" 50 states; that the federal "administrative" branch oversees the Treasury Department (news - web sites); and that World War II occurred from 1938 to 1942.

...

The workbook also refers to the play, "Death of a Traveling Salesman," not Arthur Miller's classic "Death of a Salesman."

Thanks to The Perfect World.

Top Ten Other Necessary Corrections to "Facts" Taught to Students at Fraudulent Latino Alternate School

10. Contrary to the school's textbook, the National Anthem is The Star Spangled Banner, not Maria from West Side Story

9. There is no requirement that the President, before taking office, must track and kill a panther using only his bare hands

8. The Framers of the Constitution did not include Martin Luther King, Jr., Caesar Chavez, or Walter "Sweetness" Payton

7. Patriotic pampheteer Tom Paine should not be credited as having originated the aphorism "If there's grass on the infield, play ball"

6. The process for amdending the Constitution is not divided into Talent and Swimsuit Competitions

5. The War of 1905 occurred between Russia and Japan, not, as the textbook incorrectly states, between Russia and "Steve"

4. "Steve" is also not responsible for the Bataan Death March

3. The Articles of Confederation failed because they did not provide for a strong federal executive, not "because they lacked a 99 Cent Value Menu"

2. The current Chief Justice of the Supreme Court is not Oscar de la Hoya

...and the Number One Necessary Correction to "Facts" Taught to Students at Fraudulent Latino Alternate School...

1. The Statue of Liberty is not intended to depict Agent 99 from Get Smart


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posted by Ace at 03:09 PM

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