Ace of Spades HQ

« Suspicious Package in New York Provokes Blockwide Cordon | Main | Update: Iraq Intel Led to Albany Terrorist Bust »

August 06, 2004

"Bush Fever" Sweeps the Amish

Bearded Barn-Raisers Boost Bush in Battlegrounds

Stories like this are what make blogging fun. Who knew?:

The Amish live without electricity, cars, telephones, and usually, without voting. But they are being sought out this year as Republicans try to sign up every possible supporter in presidential battleground states.

Amish almost always side with the Republican Party when they do vote - making them an attractive, if unlikely, voting bloc in the neck-and-neck campaign between President Bush and Democratic nominee John Kerry. A majority of the nation's Amish live in key swing states like Pennsylvania and Ohio.

"Pennsylvania and Ohio are just absolute battleground states, and to think that the Amish could weigh in to the tune of thousands of votes that are clearly going to be Republican - that could be very significant for Bush," said Chet Beiler, a former Amish who has been dropping off voter registration forms at Amish businesses and farms in hopes of signing up as many as 3,000 new voters.

As pacifists, most Amish avoid political activity that they believe would link them even indirectly with government-sponsored violence. But hot-button social issues, coupled with gentle prompting from people like Beiler, are galvanizing some Amish to register to vote.

"We hate that abortion issue," said Sam Stolztfus, 60, an Amish farmer and gazebo maker in Pennsylvania's Lancaster County, where an estimated 27,000 Amish live. "We're totally against it. And as far as gay issues, that's completely contrary to the Bible."

The bearded Stolztfus proudly says the Amish are "sort of swept up with Bush fever."

"You could hold up a dead mouse with a sign 'I love Bush' and we'd still probably think twice about stomping that mouse underfoot."

Top Ten Reasons the Amish Support Bush Over Kerry

10. Feel that Kerry's brightly-colored ski-parkas are both "proud" and "English"

9. You gotta admit, George Bush looks a little like Harrison Ford in Witness

8. Although they are a deeply pacifist people, they have collectively decided that Al Qaeda "needs the mother-loving shit kicked out of them"

7. They just think Bush would be more fun to share a honeyed mead with

6. The Bush economy features booming growth in dynamic sectors of Amish industry, such as Cooperwrighting, Chandlery, and Corncob-Pipe Whittlin'

5. Impressed with George Bush's promise to "build a bridge to the eighteenth century"

4. Laura Bush looks like she really knows her way around a butter-churn

3. Bush offers a return to a more innocent time, before children were corrupted by square-dancing and hemmed pants

2. Kerry's politics remind them too much of the progressive, hypermodern agenda of Millard Fillmore

â€¦and the Number One Reason the Amish Support Bush Over Kerryâ€¦

1. They think that Kerry seems a bit of a geffaedelicher, which roughly translates from Old German as "self-satisfied douche-tool"

Hat tip to Nick Sylvain.

posted by Ace at 01:32 AM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Faster Than A Speeding ONT Doggy Supermarket Sweep Cafe Quick Hits Whoa: President Trump Signs Executive Order Ending the "Disparate Impact" Doctrine Treasury Secretary Bessent: We Have the Opportunity for a "Beautiful Rebalancing" of Trade With China; Tariffs Could be Lowered to 50-65% Media Claims That Trump Backs Tax Hike on Millionaires as Part of His "Big Beautiful Tax Bill;" Trump Says "No, I Don't" New Evidence Released Proves That "Maryland Father" and "Oriole State Husband" Kilmar Abrego-Garcia Is Definitely a Human Smuggler Trump to Order Investigation Into Criminal Democrat Buckraking Operation ActBlue Elon Musk Announces He'll Be "Scaling Back" His Work With DOGE as Democrat-Antifa Terrorism Crashes Tesla's Profits The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition Absent Friends Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups PNW 2025 05/10/2025 Yakima WA Contact Mark Andrew Edwards for info Texas MoMe 2025: 10/17/2025-10/18/2025 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Suspicious Package in New York Provokes Blockwide Cordon \| Main \| Update: Iraq Intel Led to Albany Terrorist Bust » August 06, 2004 "Bush Fever" Sweeps the Amish Bearded Barn-Raisers Boost Bush in Battlegrounds Stories like this are what make blogging fun. Who knew?: The Amish live without electricity, cars, telephones, and usually, without voting. But they are being sought out this year as Republicans try to sign up every possible supporter in presidential battleground states. Amish almost always side with the Republican Party when they do vote - making them an attractive, if unlikely, voting bloc in the neck-and-neck campaign between President Bush and Democratic nominee John Kerry. A majority of the nation's Amish live in key swing states like Pennsylvania and Ohio. "Pennsylvania and Ohio are just absolute battleground states, and to think that the Amish could weigh in to the tune of thousands of votes that are clearly going to be Republican - that could be very significant for Bush," said Chet Beiler, a former Amish who has been dropping off voter registration forms at Amish businesses and farms in hopes of signing up as many as 3,000 new voters. As pacifists, most Amish avoid political activity that they believe would link them even indirectly with government-sponsored violence. But hot-button social issues, coupled with gentle prompting from people like Beiler, are galvanizing some Amish to register to vote. "We hate that abortion issue," said Sam Stolztfus, 60, an Amish farmer and gazebo maker in Pennsylvania's Lancaster County, where an estimated 27,000 Amish live. "We're totally against it. And as far as gay issues, that's completely contrary to the Bible." The bearded Stolztfus proudly says the Amish are "sort of swept up with Bush fever." "You could hold up a dead mouse with a sign 'I love Bush' and we'd still probably think twice about stomping that mouse underfoot." Top Ten Reasons the Amish Support Bush Over Kerry 10. Feel that Kerry's brightly-colored ski-parkas are both "proud" and "English" 9. You gotta admit, George Bush looks a little like Harrison Ford in Witness 8. Although they are a deeply pacifist people, they have collectively decided that Al Qaeda "needs the mother-loving shit kicked out of them" 7. They just think Bush would be more fun to share a honeyed mead with 6. The Bush economy features booming growth in dynamic sectors of Amish industry, such as Cooperwrighting, Chandlery, and Corncob-Pipe Whittlin' 5. Impressed with George Bush's promise to "build a bridge to the eighteenth century" 4. Laura Bush looks like she really knows her way around a butter-churn 3. Bush offers a return to a more innocent time, before children were corrupted by square-dancing and hemmed pants 2. Kerry's politics remind them too much of the progressive, hypermodern agenda of Millard Fillmore â€¦and the Number One Reason the Amish Support Bush Over Kerryâ€¦ 1. They think that Kerry seems a bit of a geffaedelicher, which roughly translates from Old German as "self-satisfied douche-tool" Hat tip to Nick Sylvain. posted by Ace at 01:32 AM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Boron Cobbie - Women chose the value of the vagina, men then chose the value of women: "I rember reading Heechee Rendezvous years ago. Don ..." MAGA_Ken: " Also Pohl's Heechee saga where humans discovered ..." Farquad: "178 Steak and Shake fries are fried in beef tallow ..." weft cut-loop[/i][/b] [/s]: "[i]I expected to see some Giza Sheets in the Nile ..." Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "207 I expected to see some Giza Sheets in the Nile ..." weft cut-loop[/i][/b] [/s]: "You know what would have made a better Gladiator I ..." Mike Lindell: "I expected to see some Giza Sheets in the Nile pho ..." publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb): " Well, shoot, just looked up the weather forecas ..." weft cut-loop[/i][/b] [/s]: "My finger isn't infected thankfully. Don't pla ..." Boron Cobbie - Women chose the value of the vagina, men then chose the value of women: "For some reason that reminded me of an old sci-fi ..." Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence[/s] [/b] [/u]: "My sister, who is only slightly younger than me, h ..." tankdemon : "119 Oh man, "spaceflight participant" would likely ..." Recent Entries Faster Than A Speeding ONT Doggy Supermarket Sweep Cafe Quick Hits Whoa: President Trump Signs Executive Order Ending the "Disparate Impact" Doctrine Treasury Secretary Bessent: We Have the Opportunity for a "Beautiful Rebalancing" of Trade With China; Tariffs Could be Lowered to 50-65% Media Claims That Trump Backs Tax Hike on Millionaires as Part of His "Big Beautiful Tax Bill;" Trump Says "No, I Don't" New Evidence Released Proves That "Maryland Father" and "Oriole State Husband" Kilmar Abrego-Garcia Is Definitely a Human Smuggler Trump to Order Investigation Into Criminal Democrat Buckraking Operation ActBlue Elon Musk Announces He'll Be "Scaling Back" His Work With DOGE as Democrat-Antifa Terrorism Crashes Tesla's Profits The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64