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July 26, 2004

Scoop of the Day: Kerry Will Highlight His Combat Service at Convention

That's what I call "working your sources." Give this reporter a Pulitzer.

Ace of Spades HQ also has some scoops:

Item! Max Cleland will compare the wound he suffered in Vietnam to the wounds inflicted on him by Saxby "Charlie in the Bush" Chambliss.

Item! I have it on good authority that Bush's positions on social issues will be frequently referred to as being "out of the mainstream" or even "extremist." Furthermore, the media will seem to actually agree with these assessments while reporting them.

Item! John Edwards will smile an a lot. He will use the words "positive," "optimistic," and "hopeful" while he paints a picture of an Apartheid America divided between "gated communities" and "Hoovervilles."

Item! John Kerry will employ grandiose but ultimately baby-talk meaningless oratory to conceal his actual position on the war and terrorism while sending messages to both pro- and anti-war voters that he's *really* one of them.

Note that coming by these scoops cost me an awful lot of money. Please donate $1-5000 dollars if you've read through this post until the end.


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posted by Ace at 03:47 PM

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