More Iraq News | Main | Kerry Picks Gephardt
July 06, 2004

New "Dr. Who" Series Will Not Feature Daleks

BBC Fails to Reach Terms With Daleks' Agent

Here's the weird thing: that headline isn't really a joke.

Seriously, the Daleks balked at appearing in the series, citing a disagreement over "editorial influence" over the series and especially the series' depiction of the Daleks.

As you well know, cybernetic life-forms are real bears on the issues of creative control.

And not only is that not a joke, but here's something else that isn't a joke: Part of the dispute stems from the Daleks' unhappiness at the BBC's attempts to produce a show about gay Daleks.

Exterminate, exterminate! Oh, and three Appletinis for myself and my club-mates Christopher and "Slam."

Top Ten Other Rejected Daleks Contractual Demands

10. Citing him as "creating a poisionous atmosphere for the creative process," protocol droid C-3PO barred from ever entering the set

9. Each Dalek must be supplied with his own luxury trailer during shooting, complete with entertainment center, foosball table, and "state-of-the-art facilities for live brain transplantations"

8. The BBC, on behalf of all humankind, agrees "in principle" that organic life is fundamentally inferior to "created life forms"

7. All Daleks must be supplied with an assortment of fresh citrus fruit and one (1) large bowl of M&M's with all of the brown ones taken out

6. The BBC must agree to produce and promote a Daleks album of classic pop-folk covers, to be called Feelin' Groovy: The Daleks Sing the Music of Simon & Garfunkel

5. The BBC agrees to run public-service announcements in support of the Daleks' goal of exterminating and/or enslaving all of humanity

4. The Daleks demand the BBC grant them a three-picture deal; the first film they plan is described as a "laugh-a-minute all-star racing picture" co-starring Dom DeLuise

3. The BBC must use "best business efforts" to assist in the Daleks' plot of replacing all world leaders with android doubles

2. 5% of the profits from the series must be invested in a new Michael Moore "documentary," tentatively titled The Timelords: Sinister Stormtroopers of Galactic Deceit and Evil

...and the Number One Rejected Dalk Contractual Demand...

1. The BBC agrees to run three "variety show" style televison specials starring the Daleks: A Very Daleks Christmas, Hangin' Wit' da Daleks, and You Puny Earthlings Have Precisely Five Seconds to Submit to Your Robotic Overlords (with special guest performance by Sheryl Crowe)

digg this
posted by Ace at 02:29 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Hikaru: "143 A fitting tribute. Posted by: IC at June 21, ..."

PaleRider is simply irredeemable: " ..."

rickl: "[i]138 Heinlein's epitaphs have always caught th ..."

WitchDoktor, AKA VA GOP Sucks: "Slap, the Cleveland Clinic saved my life almost tw ..."

Hikaru: "137 When McCain passes we should have 600 blank co ..."

IC: "137 When McCain passes we should have 600 blank c ..."

retropox: "...and I bitched it up. damnit. "we pray for o ..."

Hrothgar : "RIP Dr K I heard that although he could not typ ..."

ShainS: "I never saw a wild thing or Charles Krauthammersor ..."

Dr Spank: "RIP. ..."

retropox: "We pray for last landing, on the globe that gave ..."

Ben Had: "When McCain passes we should have 600 blank commen ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64