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June 04, 2004

Jackass of the Week

Occasional Ace of Spades HQ contributor Aaron Burr has decided to do a half-blog feature over on The Perfect World, and I think it's a pretty good one.

The Jackass of the Week: Chris Lehane. I'm sure everyone can get behind that call, even though I'm not sure what makes Chris Lehane the Jackass of this particular week.

Perhaps it's more of a Lifetime Achievement thing. Maybe the Irving G. Thalberg Award for Lifetime Technical Achievement in Jackassery.

He invented the Dolby (TM) ass-jacking process.

Not-necessarily-safe-for-work Advisory: Aaron Burr doesn't call him a "jackass." No, he goes for the very, very potty-mouth word that got Mr. Lenny Bruce into so much trouble all those years ago.

The "c" word. The other "c" word, the longer one. The one you might use for John Kerry, rather than the one you'd use for Barbara Boxer.

Apparently Aaron Burr doesn't follow the Ace of Spades Golden Rule: You'll never fill the big rooms workin' blue. I attribute that to a simple lack of maturity and restraint on his part.

I'm still pulling for Dana Milbank and/or any of the useless, girlish shriekers at the amateur webzine Slate. (Mickey Kaus excepted, of course. William Saletan partially excepted.)

Quibble: As odious as Chris Lehane is, I am convinced he's working for our side.

Oh, he might not think he's working for our side. But objectively he is. Even liberal reporters recoil from him as if he were a stinking rummy with his dick hanging out of his haggard pants.

He's kind of like a metrosexual Nosferatu. Every time this lisping nightwalker appears, I get the willies something awful.

I am convinced he has the power to command rats and vermin with his voice. Somebody must take his simpering seriously, I figure.

It's a mystery to me how someone so bereft of charm, grace, or rhetorical persuasiveness could have possibly worked himself up to such a high position in media relations.


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posted by Ace at 02:16 AM

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