Sundown Joe Actually Falls Asleep on Camera During "Town Hall" With Hillary Clinton | Main | Stacey Abrams, Kirstin Gillibrand Put on Their Pom-Poms and Kneepads and Beg Joe Biden to Make Them His Designated Human Rape Shield
April 28, 2020

American Sharia - The Church Of The Wuhan Flu
[Buck Throckmorton]

After years of fighting the left’s attempt to impose The Sustainable Organic Church Of The Carbon Apocalypse as America’s official state religion, I really didn’t expect an upstart religion to go from zero to Sharia in just two months, but here we are. How’s everyone enjoying the mandatory religious codes under our new state religion that just showed up from Wuhan?

Social distancing went from “keep a safe distance” to “remain behind closed doors at all times” in about the same time that Fat Tuesday gives way to Lent. And this sure is feeling like Lent in that you must sacrifice pleasures to be an obedient adherent. But unlike Christianity’s Lenten season, where there is no police force nor elected official commanding you to be properly observant, our new state religion will not tolerate anyone being deficiently pious.

There are many parallels that can be drawn between the required Covid observances and traditional religious practices, but the two that stand out the most are Masks and Shutter-At-Home.


Masks = Veils. Don’t misunderstand, if I’m in a fairly crowded store I’ll wear a mask (at least for now) to assure frightened co-shoppers that I’m not going to spread germs on them. And if I were on a plane or in a nursing home, I would certainly wear one just in case I’m an asymptomatic carrier. But the zealotry over masking is long past any health or safety concern. It’s become a public showing of obedience to the rules handed down by our ruling clerisy. A person riding his bike, alone, without wearing a mask is at risk of a public shaming from way too many Americans right now. He is not posing a risk to anyone, but neither is he publicly displaying obedience to the faith. And that will not be tolerated these days.

Shutter At Home = Observing The Sabbath. The high priests of our new religion are ordering police to arrest lone surfers, or dads playing catch with their kids at a park, or couples launching a canoe, etc. Their motivation has nothing to do with preventing the spread of disease. Zero. It is about regulating unapproved pleasure-seeking during a time when piety behind closed doors has been decreed mandatory. If you’re not miserable and pent up behind locked doors, you are a sinner.

And then there are the Church Ladies of our new state religion - the whole Karen meme is about these suddenly empowered secular Church Ladies who live for moments like this. Normally their only joy in life is scolding people for simple sins such as not using canvas grocery bags or perhaps driving a large SUV. Now these humorless vigilantes feel they are deputized to enforce the observance of the shutter-at-home sabbath. A sabbath that goes on day after day, week after week, without any end in sight. Karen could not be happier. It is a near certainty that lockdown-induced chastity being imposed on millions of people is a thought that warms the icy heart of these charmless people. (And yes, there are male Church Ladies. We most commonly refer to them as “journalists")

So go out and live in a manner that that is safe and makes you feel comfortable. But above all else – enjoy life. Publicly and proudly.

digg this
posted by Open Blogger at 06:04 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
COMountainMarie: "419 Dammit! Now I'm probably going to get fired ..."

Mullah Miklosamedinajan: "Set up on a homebrew server that's totes secure! ..."

Doof - on the graveyard shift : "[i]Looks like the second shift at the ONT is punch ..."

Former Sec of State HRC: "[i]Rosetta Stone is a privatized version of the la ..."

SFGoth: ""Al because the state SC, in their infinite dumbne ..."

Department of Redundancy Department: " Hiya, JT! Am I allowed to do that?? Posted by ..."

Linguistic Miklos: "Just from the name I'd take Rosetta Stone. At the ..."

COMountainMarie: "Looks like the second shift at the ONT is punching ..."

Doof: "Hiya, JT! Am I allowed to do that?? ..."

Mornin' Horde !: "JT! ..."

Oldcat: "Has anybody had any experience with Babbel? They'r ..."

JT: "Mornin' Horde ! ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64