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« Trump: Tucker's Out of MAGA | Main | Quick Hits »
March 05, 2026

Inside the Magic: New Fake James Bond Movie Will "Embrace Queer Storytelling" By Featuring a "Non-Binary Actor"

For a change of pace, here's a nonsense story.

I think "Inside the Magic" is some kind of Disney fanzine. I don't know how credible they are.

But as I read them, they seem less and less credible.

I'm glad I gave up on Bond movies years ago so that I'm already halfway home when the suckers are still getting out of the stadium.

Production on the next James Bond film is underway. Tentatively titled James Bond 26 (27 if you include the non-Eon Never Say Never Again) falls under Amazon, which purchased Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, and inherited the distribution rights to its films, including the 007 movies.

This "news" article is off to a bad start. No, Bond 26 is not "tentatively titled James Bond 26." How stupid. Bond movies are routinely referred to unofficially as "Bond X" until the title is revealed, but in no way would anyone who understands the Bond franchise or the usual operations of the English language say that these movies are "tentatively titled" Bond X.

Also, EON would never include the non-EON Never Say Never Again in its count of EON Bond films.

This seems like it's written by someone who knows nothing.

So, standard media story, then.

Amazon MGM Studios later acquired creative control of the future of the Bond franchise from longtime producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson, who have been replaced by Amy Pascal (Spider-Man: Homecoming) and David Heyman (the Harry Potter films).

Dune and Dune: Part Two director Denis Villeneuve is helming the new film, while Peaky Blinders' Steven Knight is on writing duties.


A New Rumor About the Film

But we do know that the next 007 will be male, despite rumors of a "gender-swap" doing the rounds following No Time to Die (2021), the final entry in Daniel Craig's series. Craig himself has even publicly opposed the idea. However, a new rumor suggests that the next "Bond girl" will be non-binary, with actor Emma Corrin in line to play the spy's love interest.

NewswirePatriot on X (Twitter) claims that the new Bond film has "officially gone woke":

WARNING: James Bond has officially gone woke! The new love interest in the Bond franchise will be "non-binary" actress Emma Corrin. The producers "wanted to prove even legacy franchises can embrace queer storytelling."

Of course, this should be treated strictly as a rumor and nothing more.

To be honest, I think "treating it strictly as a rumor" would be giving it far more credit than it deserves. This seems like the most amateurish clickbait nonsense, and that's coming from someone who wants this to be true.

I don't think this rises to the level of "rumor." This is just stupid nonsense.


Speaking of Woke Takes: People fault the Nolan Odyssey movie for a lot silly race-bending casting -- a black Helen of Troy, for example -- and for an absurd helmet.

Look at how ridiculous Agamemnon's helmet is:


odysseushelmet.jpg

agamemnonhelmet.jpg

At least Agamemnon will only be in the movie for like three minutes, so we don't have to see that stupid helmet for long.

But I think I heard that Aphrodite will also be black. Of course.

Supposedly this is pretty good, but Chris Gore from Film Threat said you have to temper your expectations. He says people are going to overhype this, and then the movie won't live up to that hype. So, it sounds good, but not good enough that it can meet elevated expectations:

Hugh Jackman plays an older Robin Hood in The Death of Robin Hood.

Yes, this sounds a lot like Robin and Marion, with Sean Connery as an older, bald Robin, and Robert Shaw as the Sheriff of Nottingham.

That pencil-necked pussy dweeb Patrick Willems had a point about Robin Hood and King Arthur: Hollywood keeps making "revisionist" takes on these figures -- dark and gritty retellings, supposedly "historically accurate" unknown true story takes -- but they keep losing money because those kind of revisionist tellings don't work unless the public is familiar with the normal, basic story itself. You can't do a "revisionist" take about a subject where the public doesn't know the non-revisionist version of the story.

The last "normal" kind of King Arthur movie was Exclaibur from 1981, and the last (arguably) "normal" Robin Hood was the Costner version in 1994 (I think). And I personally would not count that!

So the Death of Robin Hood sure would work better if there had been a successful, normie Robin Hood movie in the past ten years. Like you know, the Merry Men, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, cutting nooses with well-aimed arrows, etc.

digg this
posted by Disinformation Expert Ace at 05:37 PM

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