Wednesday Overnight Open Thread - December 3, 2025 [Shopping Rex]

Good evening Horde. The time has come for mid-week shenanigans of the post-cafe overnight variety.

Welcome to the Wednesday night ONT which means another edition of overnight fun and games. Pull up a chair and sit a spell. Good will offerings of amusing puns are happily accepted. Pants are optional. Be nice to your fellow commenters and AoS contributors.

"Good evening Morons! Come on down! You're about to get the Wednesday night ONT!"

Are you looking for gift ideas for your favorite Moron? Not sure what to put on the Christmas shopping list this year?

The Wednesday ONT is here to help with the Unofficial and Unapproved 2025 Christmas Gift Guide. We hope you're whelmed.

What gifts are missing from the guide (other than ample ammo)?

Has your favorite Moron experienced a canoe accident? Morons seem to be particularly susceptible to suffering canoe calamities. Get them a new canoe but don't spend too much money because anything you buy is likely to encounter trouble as well.

The Moose out front knows a lot of things, but doesn't always tell ya what ya need to know. Either way, you're better off with a moose than not (just don't get ones that like to bite sisters).

Weasel-san wisdom says "no wobbly shit." Get your favorite shooting Moron a solid shooting table and accompanying bags to ward off wobbly shit.

If you're like me, you have trouble keeping up with the pants rules on AoS. Which posts require pants? Which prohibit pants? Which make them optional? No wonder many Morons drink. Anyway, it pays to keep a pair of pants nearby just in case.

Blog life can be dangerous, but we all know that medical help is nearby. Bruise? Scrape? Scope bite? Cigar burn? Headache? Broken bones? Doesn't matter. Slap a hot iron on it. Available in both cordless and cord-equipped versions.

Worth more than precious metal when ya gotta go. Tradable for drinks, food and the jukebox. Also can slide beneath the leg of a wobbly table in a pinch. It is...the Club ONT Restroom Token.

When the 39 foot animatronic T-Rex is out of stock, the next best thing is a 19 foot non-animatronic T-Rex. Not ideal, but we all have to make sacrifices when times are tough.

Where is that darn Wumpus? If your favorite Moron has been hunting everywhere without success and keeps being late to the ONT, help them out with back issues of Compute! Magazine for cheat codes.

Is your favorite mechanical Moron in need of a supply of sockets? Is the right socket size always somewhere else when needed? This Advent Calendar comes stocked with a socket (or several) a day. By the time Christmas arrives, they'll have a full set! The calendar even comes with extra 10mm sockets. This particular example came from the seconds bin which explains why it was half off.

Did your favorite Moron grow up thinking "When I'm older, I'm going to have a proper slingshot!" Look no further. Batteries not included.

With the risk of Yoko lurking beneath every link and mystery click, the only sure defense is deployment of the dark arts. This anti-Yoko cloak and specially designed ear protection is the only known anti-Yoko defense. Better results when worn together. Less powerful on Mondays for unknown reasons. Available at your favorite shops on Daigon Alley.

I didn't realize that ping pong had fallen out of favor. Is this what the kids do these days? Fun for the whole family!

Get your favorite Moron a Super secret AoS membership card to recognize their dedication to the site!

[If you are a member in good standing, a picture of your card will appear here. If not, you are behind on your dues or you have a blot on your permanent record. If that is you, please send two Club ONT Restroom Tokens by email. Allow 4-6 weeks. Nothing will happen but gotta restock the supply somehow. Thank you.]

After a busy overnight shift, Santa and Mrs. Claus take the elves to Waffle House or breakfast. Re-create the emotional breakfast bowl scene with your own gingerbread Waffle House.

Is the gift of a barrel the AoS equivalent of getting coal in your stocking? Maybe it is a good sign of enjoyed whiskey, bourbon or wine? Maybe both? Maybe you've spent time in the barrel yourself? (Note: THE barrel is far worse than the barrel depicted. Not recommended.)

The Pittsburgh police scanner keeps giving. Thank you people of Pittsburgh!

Life advice: don't be a traffic cone.

Carol of the Bells for the big ONT finish.

No refunds. Bulk discounts available. Previous quotes provided by autopen are null and void. Shipping and handling extra. Sorry but the vanvera and twoilet are both out of stock due to a spike in demand recently. Written correspondence can be sent to moronhobbies at protonmail dot com. Are you lurking ?? Thank you for your attention to this matter.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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