Saturday Night "Club ONT" September 27, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration the 3D's - The Disco, The Dino, and The Doggo. Fall has officially arrived. The trees and leaves are doing their annual strip show, pumpkin spice is on the rise, and the Club is giving the side eye to the sweaters and dance moves. Spare flannels in the closet next to the porta-potty (the one with the grunge art).

[Top photo: by polynikes. Come to the Texas MoMe and get a chance to win the painting at the raffle. Thanks for the generous donation polynikes!!]

Club Housekeeping

Without regret, happy birthday to AoSHQ regular commenter, illiniwek.

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

My boss was honest with me today. He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."

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On his 74th birthday, an old man received a gift certificate from his wife...

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoon and then say '1-2-3'." When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" the medicine man responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

The man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he quickly took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

Drink of the Night

Octoberfest continues.

Manicure with a foam head? Why yes, The Club is here for you.

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Americans doing their thing.

Bringing D.B. Cooper and the @Super70sSports vibe to the beer halls of Munich… pic.twitter.com/FgU2Zsj22g

— Rex Crum (@rexcrum) June 14, 2025

Club ONT Booze Business News

Goodbye Modelo -Americans Have A New Favorite Beer

An effort two decades in the making has finally come to fruition for Anheuser-Busch. Despite being considered a cheap beer to avoid, according to customer reviews (and ranking near the bottom of our own taste test of America's top-selling beers), Michelob Ultra has become king of the hill among beer brands. By topping the sales by volume charts for 2025, it has ousted Modelo Especial as America's best-selling beer.

Really? Michelob Ultra? Who? Serious question - does this resonate with the Horde? Do you drink Michelob Ultra or know those that do?

Perfect setup for this scene from Landman

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Tito’s acquires Lalo Tequila, uniting two Austin-born spirits leaders

Tito’s, founded by Bert “Tito” Beveridge in 1997, has grown into one of the most recognized vodka brands in the United States. Lalo, which was founded in 2019 by Eduardo “Lalo” González, David “R” Carballido, and Jim McDermott, builds on González’s family legacy of tequila making. The brand’s blanco is distilled from Highland agave, local Jalisco water and champagne yeast. Beveridge said the partnership grew out of shared values and a longstanding friendship. “I’ve known the Lalo founders for a long time. They care about the juice. They keep it simple. They do things the right way, not the flashy way. That felt like home to us,” he said in a statement.

Club ONT Department of Science

Are mosquitos attracted to beer drinkers? Researchers decided that a music festival in Holland was the best place to find out.

Our study was conducted in a slightly steamy pop-up laboratory inside four connected shipping containers at Lowlands Festival in The Netherlands (August 18–20, 2023). Participants completed an anonymous questionnaire on hygiene, diet, and festival-related behaviour (including alcohol uptake and shared sleeping arrangements).

Amongst the 465 included participants, mosquitoes showed a clear fondness for those who drank beer over those who abstained from the liquid gold.

The Mosquito Magnet Trial, to our knowledge the largest study of its kind, was conducted in a loosely controlled setting with a selection bias towards science loving festivalgoers. That said, using our custom designed experimental set-up, we found that mosquitoes are drawn to those who avoid sunscreen, drink beer, and share their bed. They simply have a taste for the hedonists among us.

Club ONT Ryder Cup

[doggo is not taking this very well]

This does not look to be 28. The United States has won 27 times.

Every two years, 12 USA players take on 12 Euro-Weenies in a 3 day event. This year the event is being played at Bethpage Black, in Farmingdale, NY.

The Euros are kicking the shit out of the good 'Ol USA (11.5 to 4.5) after the Friday and Saturday matches of Four-Ball and Foursomes. Which means the Europeans need to win 2 matches and tie 1 to keep the cup. Singles matches are tomorrow. Godspeed Team USA.

Club ONT Game Night Advice

Club ONT Logical Fallacies

'Rons and 'Ettes, put down your bingo card and dobber, hide your meat raffle ticket, and forget all that sports trivia. This is not nacho stacking nor the Wheel of Poor Decisions. The Club is proud to bring you Saturday Night Fallacies.

Here is a big list and a few AoSHQ style to get your brain going.

Argumentum ad Sock Puppetorium – rolling out your best sock puppets to advance your comment.

Argumentum ad Accidental Geniusum - pretending you "barely studied/are no expert" while casually explaining string theory and any other random AoSHQ topics that show up.

Argumentum ad Moronicum - (the Horde can take this one) and this one: Argumentum ad MooMoo.

Argumentum ad TRexium, Discoum, and Doggium - automatically wins the debate because of short arms, dance moves, and tail chasing.

Hit the comments with your Argumentum best.

Club Endorsed Doggos

History of Doggos of Awesome. Legendary pups at the link - Wikipedia.

Honey Tree Evil Eye seems like a win over Spuds. Bud made a Budweiser choice.

Honey Tree Evil Eye, a female Bull Terrier, was known as Spuds MacKenzie in her role as the Budweiser spokes-dog.

Some doggos with built in homing devices.

Baekgu, the Korean Jindo Dog, after being sold by the original owner due to economic hardship to a new owner 300 km away, came back to the original owner after seven months.

Bobbie the Wonder Dog, after accidental abandonment on a cross-country trip, Bobbie made his way back over 2,551 miles (4,105 km) to his family's home.

Club ONT Music - We Take Requests?

Grey Box requests are accepted in English and polite. You got half of it right. No birthdates.

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Not necessarily a request, but you never know what will catch the eyes of one of The 3 Ds!

Top 10ish Comments of the Week. Or thereabout...

Club ONT brought to you by: Only if it's on tap. The can cost more than the liquid character development inside it.

Club ONT regrets that the live band booked for the evening has cancelled. Seems like "Moose Knuckle" was double-booked elsewhere and the other place paid better. "Camel Toe" is busy playing a wedding, so they couldn't fill in. Accordingly, the Club ONT jukebox has been unlocked and is free for the night. Please take turns.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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