Saturday Night "Club ONT" September 6, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Club ONT wants YOU!! Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration the 3D's - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino. The Disco has been sailing the high seas. Either wearing a Dollar Store pirate hat and eye patch or a European sailor outfit. Enjoy your time at the Club tonight!

Did you know Club ONT has a time machine? It sits behind the popcorn machine (that is out of order). It looks suspiciously like an ATM machine but that's a clever ruse. If you feed the time machine just the right amount of restroom tokens and press the right buttons, it reaches back and resurrects culture from some random year of the past. We gave it a try and tonight it said 1981!! No idea why, but that's the random nature of time travel.

Top song of 1981 - Kim Carnes

Top soundtrack of 1981 comes from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You damned bastard!"

The judge stops, and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that a problem?"

The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "For fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."

-----

I was walking through the cemetery that was rumored to be haunted. I met a groundskeeper there and asked him if the place was haunted. He said, "I've worked here 177 years, and haven't seen anything suspicious."

-----

When the officer walks up to the car, he sees the driver is an eighty-year-old woman with very thick glasses.

"Ma'am, why are you driving so slowly on the highway?" he asks.

"Why are you mad at me? The speed limit is only ten miles an hour!" she replies angrily, gesturing toward a nearby sign.

The officer looks at the sign and sighs. "Ma'am, that sign says 'Highway 10,' not 'Speed Limit 10'."

"Oh my goodness!" the driver exclaims, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, officer! I'll look more carefully at the signs, I promise!"

The officer nods and glances casually into the backseat, and freezes. Sitting in the backseat are two other women, wide-eyed and pale, barely breathing, their white knuckles gripping the seat as hard as they can.

"Are your passengers alright?" he asks.

"Oh, they're fine," the driver replies. "We just got off Highway 180."

Drink of the Night

Playing card drinks - back by popular demand

-----

Club ONT Bartenders - Presidential Style

Abraham Lincoln was a licensed bartender?

In January 1833 in New Salem, Illinois, Lincoln partnered with his friend from his militia days, William F. Berry, to purchase a small store, which they named Berry and Lincoln. Stores could sell alcohol in quantities greater than a pint for off-premises consumption, but it was illegal to sell single drinks to consume at the store without a license. In March 1833, Berry and Lincoln were issued a tavern, or liquor, license, which cost them $7 and was taken out in Berry's name. Stores that sold liquor to consume on the premises were called groceries.

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) is the only U.S. president who was also a licensed bartender. pic.twitter.com/Y7ZzfQ8zJB

— Cliff Pickover (@pickover) September 1, 2025

Club ONT Awards

Someone left this behind after last week's Club ONT. Our records are a little fuzzy, so not sure who actually earned it. If yours, please claim at the front desk.

Club ONT History Department

Hard to believe all of this happened in 1981:

January 20: Ronald Reagan is inaugurated as the 40th President of the United States of America.

March 27: Blizzard of Ozz, the debut solo album by Ozzy Osbourne is released.

March 30: Ronald Reagan, 40th US President, is shot and wounded in an attempted assassination by John Hinckley.

May 13: Pope John Paul II is shot and wounded by a Turkish gunman in St Peter’s Square, in the Vatican City.

June 12: The first of the Indiana Jones film franchise, Raiders of the Lost Ark premieres.

July 29: In one of the most significant events in 1981, Prince Charles marries Lady Diana Spencer. On this day, she became The Princess of Wales.

August 1: Endless Love is released by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie. It would become the Billboard Song of the Year 1981, as well as Billboard Greatest Song Duet of All-Time.

August 1: MTV premieres at 12:01am.

October 11: An unknown singer, Prince, opens for the Rolling Stones at the LA Coliseum.

October 15: Krazy George Henderson, a professional cheerleader, leads an audience wave in Oakland, California. It is believed to be the first audience wave.

December 11: Muhammad Ali fights his 61st, and last, fight, losing to Trevor Berbick.

NFL is underway. The league once again sprained its spleen - another tiresome round of virtue signaling on the Thursday night broadcast.

What's good about the NFL? Glad you asked. Hot dogs. And it looks like the Atlanta Falcons got the pricing correct.

The price of a hot dog at every NFL stadium: pic.twitter.com/ecvfoqKEnz

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) September 3, 2025

Interesting pictures in the links.

Very cool geometry in nature - basalt columns. Inspiration for Mendelssonhn's Hebride/Fingal's Cave overture.

After seeing the cave in summer 1829, when he was 20 years old, he immediately started writing the overture and completed it the following year. He wrote, then and there, to his sister Fanny, “In order to make you understand how extraordinarily the Hebrides affected me, I send you the following, which came into my head there.” The note included the opening phrase of what would become the full overture.

Legend of Fingal's Cave

According to the legend, the two places are the opposite ends of an ancient bridge built by the benevolent Irish giant Fionn mac Cumhaill. While building the pathway towards Scotland, Fionn gets informed that his enemy Scottish giant Benandonner is coming to fight him. Fionn cannot withstand Benandonner’s strength, so he asks his wife Oona to help him. She disguises Fionn, dressing him as a baby and hiding him in a cradle. Then she bakes some cakes, hiding some iron in some of them, and waits for the giant’s arrival.

When Benandonner arrives, not finding Fionn, he waits for him in his house. At the same time, he tries to intimidate Oona by showing her his great power. At this point, Fionn’s clever wife offers Benandonner some iron-cakes, but as he bites into cakes, the iron he chips his teeth. Oona ridicules him for being weak, saying that her husband eats those cakes without troubles, and feeds one (without iron) to the camouflaged Fionn. Benandonner, having seen the baby’s strength, is scared to meet his father and runs back to Scotland, smashing the causeway behind him so Fionn couldn’t follow.

Club Wholesome Content

The father pretended that his son helped him get the car out of the mud. To his satisfaction. pic.twitter.com/33cgrQbWXC

— The Best (@Thebestfigen) August 31, 2025

Club ONT Music from 1981

Top 10ish Comments of the Week. Or thereabout...

Club ONT brought to you by groovy music

Seating at Club ONT is first-come-first-served unless you are a regular. In that case, everyone should know where the regulars always sit and leave those seats for the regulars. If you are unsure, ask the bartender. IF you are a VIP and wish to enjoy Club ONT from the comfort of the VIP champagne lounge, please be advised that the official champagne of Club ONT is Miller High Life.

posted by Open Blogger at 09:44 PM

| Access Comments