Saturday Night "Club ONT" August 30, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration the 3D's - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino. That's right - despite ending his tour of duty as Tuesday ONT host, The Doggo remains as a Club co-host! He doesn't have keys to the Executive Washroom anymore, so watch out if you see him lifting a hind leg. He's still off-leash - at least for now. We will reassess his restrictions as necessary. Please advise the other 2 D's of any conduct unbecoming. Otherwise - enjoy your time at the Club tonight!

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A man and a woman who had never met before found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train...

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, him in the upper bunk and her in the lower.

At 1:00 a.m., the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied.

"Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own fooking blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

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Two Democrat lawmakers were walking down the street and came across a man who had been beaten, robbed, and left for dead.

One of them looked at the other and said, “We must help the man who did this.”

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Drink of the Night

Tonight we debut a new feature here in the Club! The Disco found a cool deck of playing cards on one of his groovy adventures to The Bahamas.

Each card features a different cocktail. With 2 Jokers in the deck, there are 54 cards / cocktails contained therein!

The first card / cocktail is featured here tonight.

If the Club can keep from being shut down, perhaps we'll make it through the whole deck in 53 more weeks! Will we go through the deck in some predetermined order? Will we draw a random card each week? Will we get bored of the idea and move on to something else? Time will tell!

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Club ONT Bartenders Can Make Mocktails

Nonalcoholic beer and mocktails can help people stay sober or drink less, but are not for everyone

Several years into her sobriety, Logan Denzer decided to try nonalcoholic beer and mocktails while others around her drank real booze.

“A lot of people feel out of place” when everyone else is imbibing, said the 27-year-old from Los Angeles, who considers these beverages “an excellent solution.”

Millions of Americans agree — including others recovering from addiction, people trying to cut down on their drinking and the rising number of young adults forgoing alcohol altogether.

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“They’re wanting to not necessarily drink during the week, or they’re wanting to switch out at a particular occasion,” said Marcos Salazar of the Adult Non-Alcoholic Beverage Association. “So they may have an alcoholic beverage and then an adult nonalcoholic beverage. That’s called zebra striping ... and it kind of extends the night.”

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“More and more when I go to restaurants, mocktails are just offered, like they’re on the menu and it’s just part of the norm now,” said (Dr. Joseph) Lee (CEO of the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation), an expert in psychiatry and addiction medicine. “Those are really healthy things to see on a broader public health level.”

Interesting article.

Club ONT Lessons in Business

😂 pic.twitter.com/9M4gNyASJ1

— Giga Based Dad (@GigaBasedDad) August 26, 2025

Club ONT Department of Otters

Florida and the search otter, Splash.

In training to search murky waters.

When people think of a non-human search-and-rescue partner, they usually picture a courageous dog on the trail.

Notably, one Florida search-and-rescue team is training an Asian small-clawed otter (Aonyx cinereus) named Splash to help in aquatic missions.

Reportedly, Peace River K9 Search and Rescue hopes to use Splash to extend search efforts into murky water, where search dogs cannot go.

Otters can “taste” scents underwater, a unique ability Splash uses to locate human remains. It is said to be the world’s only search and rescue otter.

Doerner Tree loses 50 feet of height to fire.

Massive Douglas Fir tree in Oregon looks like it will make it through the fire.

The tree is estimated to be roughly 450 years old and was the tallest Douglas fir in the world at 327 feet before the blaze.

Volunteer tree climbers Damien Carré and Logan Collier scaled the tree Thursday afternoon and used a hose to put out the last of the flames burning inside the tree. Then, they helped set up a sprinkler system to prevent the fire from reigniting.

Striking Resemblance

We don't want to know if she once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

Club ONT Music

Non-Humpty Dance Songs

Lots of other songs out there with titles or lyrics about dancing. Name some in the comments!

Top 10ish Comments of the Week. Or thereabout...

Club ONT brought to you by the next the next mission

The war between ants and wasps behind Club ONT rages on. If you step out the back door, please be aware you may witness animal kingdom military activity and there may be remnants of combat. Club ONT is not maintaining a betting pool on the result but has faith the ants will prevail. Club ONT will sell or lease killer ants to remove wasp infestations for patrons, so let the bartender know if you are interested. Pricing depends on the state of your permanent record.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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