Saturday Night "Club ONT" April 26, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration of your Sunday through Wednesday ONT Crew - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino.

Saturday Night Jokes

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

A woman, after several failed relationships, decides to put a singles ad in the paper. She states in the ad that she's looking for an honest man who won't beat her, walk out on her and is good in bed. A few days later the doorbell rings and she opens the door to find a guy w with no arms or legs on the porch. "I'm here to answer your ad" he says. She looks at him skeptically and says "Well, you have no arms so you can't beat me and you have no legs, so you can't walk out on me. But are you any good in bed?" He says "Hey, I rang the doorbell didn't I?!"

Club endorsed dancing. Stick with the video - the kid has some moves.

Kid is already a legend. 😂😂🕺🕺

pic.twitter.com/tx7wk0gogq

— Juanita Broaddrick (@atensnut) April 17, 2025

Club endorsed footwear

Drink of the Night

Caribbean Rum Punch

Taste of the Islands. And when you wake up, you still cannot speak Spanish.

- Fill glass with ice
- 2 shots of dark rum (The Club recommends Punta Cana Club Esplendido)
- 1 oz freshly squeezed lime juice (about two limes)
- 1 oz pineapple juice
- 1/2 oz simple syrup
- Dash of bitters
- Pinch of nutmeg
- Garnish with grapefruit or lime wedge
- Feet up, and tilt the glass until happy

Too many drinks of the night!

Very accurate. 🤣 pic.twitter.com/21VAZbF0hF

— Paratrooper Brady™ (@ParatooperBrady) April 12, 2025

Nope.

Posh China restaurant offers US$540 meals with elephant dung desserts for 'authentic' taste

In her post, the blogger detailed her experience, beginning with a dining ritual where guests pluck a leaf straight from a potted plant, dip it in sauce, and consume it raw, while a server elaborated on the concept of "ecological fusion cuisine."

As the meal unfolds, diners are treated to an array of unconventional dishes. One such offering requires guests to lick honey and pollen from ice cubes.

Another course showcased a bowl of "black goo," meticulously crafted to replicate the pungent scent of the parasitic Rafflesia flower, notorious for its foul odour, while the waiter explained that it evokes the scent of decaying flesh.

The meal reaches its peak with a striking dessert called "Flowers Inserted into Elephant Dung." This dish "creatively" features a base of elephant dung that mimics crispy crumbs, adorned with herbal perfume, fruit jam, pollen, and honey sorbet.

Nope. Even more nope. For the avoidance of doubt, Club ONT does not serve Elephant poop.

Jake, Elwood and their friends bring the Club ONT music:

Club Music - Act 2

🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/z86qKQooNy

— 🎸 Rock History 🎸 (@historyrock_) April 20, 2025

Club ONT brings you entertainment from around the world. This is cheese rolling in Sicily. The commentary is in Italian but the visuals speak for themselves.

Sicilian cheese throwing game thrills Italian town

A centuries old tradition of cheese-throwing has brought excitement to the town of Novara di Sicilia as its residents both young and old trooped out en masse to participate in the game.

The event known as the 'Maiorchino tournament' gets its name from the specific type of cheese produced in the area which is used in the games and typically takes place on carnival afternoons.

The game itself involves teams of two or three players who take turns rolling a hefty 10-12kg cheese wheel as far as possible along a designated path of about two kilometres using a 3-3.5 metre long rope.

The team who throws the cheese the furthest is declared the winner with the cheese itself as the grand prize.

The Belgians do Easter differently. Don't worry - Club ONT will never make you hunt for beer.

A brewery in Belgium swapped painted eggs for frothy brews when it celebrated Easter with the "World's Biggest Beer Hunt."

The fifth annual Easter event at the Aywiers Gardens in Lasne, Belgium, saw over 1,000 registered hunters searching the grounds for 12,000 hidden bottles of Lutgarde beer.

Hidden among the beers was a special golden bottle, which earned its finder a prize of his weight in beer.

Top 10ish comments of the week. Or thereabout...

Excuses, excuses:

Club ONT brought to you by: Hai Karate (and Valerie Leon).

Club ONT is all natural and made without artificial sweeteners or preservatives. No synthetic ingredients have been added to enhance Club ONT coloring or appearance. Club ONT has not had Botox, liposuction, laser resurfacing or a tummy tuck. This is as good as it gets. If Club ONT's best isn't good enough for you, then lower your standards.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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