Saturday Night "Club ONT" March 29, 2025 [The 3 D's]

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration of your Sunday through Wednesday ONT Crew - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino. Come on in! We have box seats, high top tables, peanuts, and a crowd that knows nothing about being on their best behavior.

Saturday Night Joke

Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk canning accident. They are met by God on the stairway to heaven.

God says, "There are 3,000 steps to heaven. It's very serious up there. I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."

So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. Ole and Sven look at each other nervously.

On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and goes straight to hell.

On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.

Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. God asks, "What are you laughing about?".

Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. I yust got da first yoke!".

Mixed metaphors and malaprops. Some of these hit the nail right on the nose. Really sticking their neck out on a limb. You get the idea.

Ford executive kept a list (on white boards) of mixed metaphors and malaprops uttered by coworkers.

Once in a meeting, Ford's then-head of U.S. sales, Andrew Frick, was making a point about a sales promotion: "We have a better program, but the competition has more foot on the ground," he said. Sensing the stumble, he looked up at O'Brien, laughing. "Wait, is it 'feet on the ground'? Dammit O'Brien!"

The list became so known-and feared-that one executive cursed O'Brien's name in a meeting after tripping up on an expression. Violators could appeal their inclusion but success was rare. And nobody was above a grammatical roasting: Ford CEO Jim Farley twice made the list.

It's time to step up to the plate and lay your cards on the table - Horde style.

Drink of the Night

Gin and Tonic

It's springtime. Perfect time to break out this refreshing classic.

No complicated recipe. Just a ratio of tonic-to-gin over ice, with a squeeze of lime. Something like 3:1 tonic to gin, or 2:1. Here at the Club, we go 1:1, because no amount of valu-rite gin is too good for our members and guests! Add an additional wedge or slice of lime if you want to be bougie. Hold your pinky out for mas bouginess.

Club ONT G&Ts are proudly served in the finest plasticwear.

Club ONT music

Bonus baseball tune:

Live entertainment at Club ONT:

Long restroom lines at the ball park suck.

You know who else (mostly) sucks?

The otters have escaped. We repeat - the otters are on the run.

The New Zoo & Adventure Park in Green Bay is missing their otters:

In the early morning hours on Thursday, March 20th, during the winter storm, North American river otters Louie and Ophelia left their habitat through a small breach in buried fencing that they managed to enlarge just enough to get out.

March 26 update:

We continue our work to retrieve Louie and Ophelia. At least one otter has been seen repeatedly in the same area, showing interest in the traps. Raccoons have, unfortunately, impeded some of our efforts, even setting off one trap not long before an otter arrived and tried to enter it.

Comment of the first quarter of 2025?

Top 10ish comments of the week. Or thereabout...

Which one of you is this?

Having fun at work🫡

An Excavator operator playing with a scrapped plane! 😂 pic.twitter.com/bctYqdIq4a

— HOW THINGS WORK (@HowThingsWork_) March 27, 2025

Club ONT brought to you by knowing when to ask for help.

When you are ready for the last dance in Club ONT tonight:

In the event of a water emergency in Club ONT, do not panic. Club ONT has exits at the front, rear and out the windows. If you are equipped with your own personal flotation device (or devices), grab your drink and float to safety. If you need a personal flotation device, the bar stools double as life rafts. They also have drink holders for your beverage. If a friend needs assistance, strap them to the stool and drag them behind you but do NOT spill your drink.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

| Access Comments