Elon Musk Provided Internet to a Primitive Tribe In the Amazon.
Now They're Living the American Dream.

What's the worst that could happen?

A reclusive tribe in the Amazon finally got hooked up to the internet, thanks to Elon Musk -- only to be torn apart by social media and pornography addiction, elders complain.

We should definitely allow children to keep using the internet.

Brazil's 2,000-member Marubo tribe has been left bitterly divided by the arrival of the Tesla founder's Starlink service nine months ago, which connected the remote rainforest community along the Ituí River to the web for the first time.

"When it arrived, everyone was happy," Tsainama Marubo, 73, told The New York Times.

Yeah, I remember when we were all stoked about the internet, too.

Happier days.

"But now, things have gotten worse. Young people have gotten lazy because of the internet, they're learning the ways of the white people."

...

The Marubo are a chaste tribe, who even frown upon kissing in public -- but Alfredo Marubo (all Marubo use the same last name) said he is anxious that the arrival of the service, which delivers super-fast internet to far-flung corners of the planet and has been billed as a game-changer by Musk, could upend standards of decorum.

Alfredo said many young Marubo men have been sharing porn videos in group chats and he has already observed more "aggressive sexual behavior" in some of them.

It takes a very stable and grounded society to not dissolve morally when confronted with ten thousand videos of hot stepmoms in heat.

"We're worried young people are going to want to try it," he said of the kinky sex acts they've suddenly been exposed to on screen.

Yes, definitely, we should continue treating it as normal and acceptable for children to carry around the entire internet in their pocket.

"Everyone is so connected that sometimes they don't even talk to their own family."

...

Initially, the internet was heralded as a positive for the remote tribe who were able to quickly contact authorities for help with emergencies, including potentially deadly snake bites.

Internet Phase One: This is going to connect the world and allow our scientists to work together to cure diseases.

Internet Phase Two: People stop reading books to scan headlines. People hop on the internet to check a fact and then spend the next ten hours watching an Iceberg video about the history of Bane.

Internet Phase Three: People stop talking to friends and family because of politics and Busty Lesbian Internet Porn.

Internet Phase Four: Man can no longer maintain an erection unless they a Dom Stepmom is stepping on their hands in high heels. The species ends for lack of trying.

"In the village, if you don't hunt, fish and plant, you don't eat."

"Some young people maintain our traditions," TamaSay Marubo, 42, added.

"Others just want to spend the whole afternoon on their phones."

This all checks out.

Tribespeople became so addicted that Marubo leaders, fearing that history and culture -- which is passed down orally -- could be lost forever, they have now limited access to the internet for two hours each morning, five hours each evening, and all day Sunday.

But parents still worry the damage may already be done.

It is already done. People's brains and morality and natural animal drives have been -- what's the word the tech vampires prefer? -- "disrupted."

Below: The nitwit shitlib Jack Dorsey, formerly of Twitter, says that algorithms and AI are "reprogramming" us. I wouldn't care much for his babbling but Elon Musk says he's right.

posted by Disinformation Expert Ace at 01:20 PM

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