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Food Thread: I'll Gladly Give You A Slice Of Beef For Your Vote On Tuesday!

Passover is coming soon, and because of a confluence of events I will have just a short time to prepare for a dozen people's holiday dinner.

So how to plan something delicious and festive while keeping the prep to a minimum?

What I do is think through the steps for each dish, and if there are too many, then I swap it out. And if it requires a bunch of utensils and dishes and bowls and pans...I swap it out.

Cooking time isn't a big deal. I can be doing something else while the Matzoh Balls cook. Besides, I'll make those the previous day, and that makes it smoother on the big day! Of course making stuff in advance is a huge time-saver and is probably the best way to streamline a big dinner, so choosing foods that can be made the day before or at least prepped in advance is a very big deal.

Sometimes money fixes these problems, but I just feel funny about buying premade stuff. Part of the joy of holidays is the careful preparation, and Passover is no different.

Yeah...that is a Pistachio and Parmesan Crusted Tenderloin. I spoil my damned guests! I think I will make that for the Seder meal but extract a promise of a vote for Trump before anyone gets a slice.

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"Food Insecurity"

Is that not one of the most irritating, passive-aggressive, smug, condescending, inaccurate terms ever to emerge from the maws of the progressive movement?

It is absolutely impossible for anyone living in the United States to go hungry. It simply can't happen. There are hundreds of federal, state, municipal, and local programs designed to make sucking the government teat effortless, especially for food. Show me any American who can't get enough to eat or is malnourished and I will show you somebody with other problems that cause those issues. Drug addicts, drunks, children and dependents of those people...they are the ones with food problems. And no amount of government largesse will fix that!

Harrumph!

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That's a "Graplet^TM," which is nothing more than a Gimlet with grapefruit rather than lime. Grapefruit juice isn't as tart as lime juice, so the drink requires less simple syrup, but other than that it is pretty straightforward, and pretty tasty!

The garnish is a half slice of grapefruit that I dried in a cool oven (proofing setting) for many hours. I don't have a dehydrator, but the oven worked pretty well.

Is it as good as a classic Gimlet? No, but it is fun, and as I mentioned recently we have a huge box of grapefruit because I am a sucker for earnest teenagers selling door-to-door to raise money for their school band/orchestra.

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I have been thinking about seafood stews, in particular the great Cioppinos I have had in California, and made in New Jersey. It's sort of an Italian version of the French Bouillabaisse, and I think it is better. So off to the bowels of the internet to find out what the newest thoughts from our cooking elites are.

And this one stood out! Best of the best seafood stew. But not because it looked good...because it was incredibly irritating, pompous, woke, and everything else that is bad about cooking.

Okay, I am being a bit histrionic, but if I see the word "sustainable" one more time I'm going to start throwing things. Why stop at "sustainable" fish? Why not vegetables? Herbs? Pots and pans?

Screw them. Try this recipe (PDF). It's the one I always use and it's solid. I have changed it up over the years, and don't remember where I got it, so...

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From naturalfake, one of our serious amateur bartenders, comes a great idea for some day drinking tomorrow!

Cosmo Apocalyptico

• 1.5 oz Citrus Vodka (lemon, etc)
  
• .75 oz Blue curaçao
  
• 1 0z Cranberry Juice
  
• .25 oz fresh lime juice

Shake, strain into cocktail glass, float a thin slice of blood orange on the surface.
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As you can see, it's basically a Cosmopolitan cocktail using the blue curacao instead of triple sec. The cranberry juice and blue curaçao mimic the eclipse darkened sky and the blood orange slice mimics the sun at full eclipse with the corona showing.

It tastes good, looks appealing, and the theme is on point. Also the ingredients are easy to find.

What more do you want from a cocktail?

My suggestion for the eclipse drinking plan is: one when you see the first decrease in the sun's size (First Contact), one when it reaches maximum coverage (Totality), and one when the moon just leaves the sun (Fourth Contact).

And since there is no math on this blog, that adds up to one drink, which is fine for a Monday afternoon.

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That's from lurker "RS," who has suggested that "when one deglazes the pan with cognac and scrapes up the fond, it's best to remove the wooden spoon BEFORE flaming the booze."

Makes sense!

How many of you have burned spoons? Melted utensils? I have both. Hell, I even have a pot lid with a partially melted handle!

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Good butter, and Flap Meat...whatever the hell that is...just send it, Broccolini that isn't $6/bunch, garlic...lots of garlic!, well-marbled hanger steaks and elk chops to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

Who are those poor deluded souls who shake their Manhattans? These are the same people who drink fine bourbon with coke, and probably shake red wine with ice too.

However, I will give dispensation to those who use maple syrup on Brussels Sprouts! I tried that and it worked nicely. I still prefer Agave, but still...

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.