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Food Thread: Ego? In The Kitchen?

Well...hell.

No, that's not a product of the vast kitchens at Chez Dildo. That's my niece's challah, and it was excellent! And I'm jealous. Especially because she is new to the whole baking game! And that means I have to start baking challah! Yes, I have an ego when it comes to that sort of thing.

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Yep...plain old salt. It's the most important ingredient in cooking, and getting it right is surprisingly difficult.

Especially if one is used to Kosher salt of a certain size, and all of a sudden...BANG! Fine-grained sea salt is the only stuff available.

I use my hands to salt food, because I can feel exactly how much I have between my fingers, and it is easy to be delicate. But that sea salt I used a few days ago in my niece's kitchen was like being dropped in a foreign country! A fish out of water...a square peg in a round hole...and any other idiom you can think of.

The only time I measure salt is when I am baking, because baking is black magic and if you don't measure, the baking imps will torture you forever. Actually, the little bastards will torture you no matter what, but that is a different issue.

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Yes, those are catfish bites, and they were damned fine eating. Griffis Cafe, on Route 441 near Kenansville Florida might not be a destination for fine dining, but the food was good, the waitress was friendly, and the signs in the restaurant were unmistakable in their messages. If you don't love America, get out.

I like that message.

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This Weasel fellow with his high falutin' two-minute cuisine is muscling in on my turf!

WeaselBeenz

• 2 Pounds dried pinto beans
  
• 1 pound Canadian bacon cut into .308" cubes
  
• 2 medium onions
  
• 4-5 cloves garlic
  
• 3-4 medium jalapenos (3 deveined/chopped and 1 chopped w/ innards for xtra zip)
  
• Pinto bean seasoning I like Bolner's Fiesta brand available on Amazon
  
• Salt to taste (I use about 3/4 tbsp and it's not salty)

Cover and soak beans 2 hours in cold water, changing water at 1 hour, then drain.
Chop onions, jalapenos, garlic and set aside

In a Dutch oven, brown bacon then add onions, jalapenos and garlic and stir until the onions start to become transparent. Don't caramelize or otherwise overcook. Add beans and cover with 1-1.5 inch of water. Add salt. Boil on high heat for 20 minutes. Reduce heat to simmer. add 3 - 4 tbsp of pinto bean seasoning mix. The beans will not absorb much seasoning until they have cooked for a bit. Total cook time is about 2 hours, just test along the way. Simmer until beans are soft, adding more pinto bean seasoning as you go, to taste.

Add shredded cheese for WeaselBeenz DeLuxe.

Okay. Canadian Bacon? Really? The 9mm of bacon. Only real American bacon will do here. The fat will help in cooking the aromatics, and it will absolutely add wonderful flavor.

Other than that? It looks pretty damned good!

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Oops. I forgot to take a photo before we began to eat! Yeah...I'm a sh*tty reviewer!

But it was a solid effort! Dark chocolate cake with a peanut butter sauce liberally drizzled all over the ice cream. Not too sweet, the cake was dense and moist, and the ice cream was good.

I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but when it rears its head, I am all in!

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That's a glass of Knob Creek 9 Year Single Barrel Reserve. Well, that's what remained when I remembered to take a picture. It started out mostly full. And that's a good thing, because I really enjoy drinking somebody else's booze, especially when that somebody is a large law firm with more money than sense.

That was poured by a friendly and competent bartender who seemed a bit surprised that I smiled and thanked him for the first round. When I came back I asked for another bourbon...one cube...and the largest one he would pour me. We joked a bit and then he started pouring....and pouring...and then he faked pouring some Coke into the glass so that his boss wouldn't get pissed if he saw a topped-off low-ball glass!

There was no tipping allowed, so he wasn't angling for a big tip. So why did he pour a big glass of a good (and fairly expensive) bourbon? Was he bored? Maybe. Or maybe liked the fact that I simply recognized that he was a human being and said hello and thank you and chatted, because that's fun!

And the next night? Yup...same thing.

It's amazing what happens when we treat each other with respect.

[Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" is playing as I write this!]

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I have never used a pressure cooker! It wasn't a technique in my mother's kitchen, and I never got into canning, so it was never in the forefront of things to try. But that doesn't mean it doesn't sound interesting...

Here is Alton Brown with a straightforward chili recipe that I guess he has modified somewhat for pressure cookers. Although I don't see anything that doesn't transfer perfectly to a Dutch Oven, so...

Pressure-Cooker Chili

Is there any advantage to pressure cookery other than the obvious time savings?

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Well, I had some asparagus and it was pretty good, so..., and Flap Meat...whatever the hell that is...just send it, Broccolini that isn't $6/bunch, garlic...lots of garlic!, well-marbled hanger steaks and elk chops to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

Who are those poor deluded souls who shake their Manhattans? These are the same people who drink fine bourbon with coke, and probably shake red wine with ice too.

However, I will give dispensation to those who use maple syrup on Brussels Sprouts! I tried that and it worked nicely. I still prefer Agave, but still...

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.