Saturday Overnight Open Thread (2/10/24)

Medically speaking, there is no difference in outcome; both are fatal.

Moar Humor A guide to living the right way.

24 COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS 29 year olds; as you get older you need more than 10.

1. The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

2. Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

3. When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

4. Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”

5. Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done

6. If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.

7. “Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo."

8. Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?

9. I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.

10. Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I made mud pies.

11. Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.

12. So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?

13. Old age is coming at a really bad time.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

15. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

16. Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

17. Now, I'm wondering . . . did I send this to you, did you send it to me or have I only sent it to myself.

18. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating you.

19. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.

20. "On time" is, when you get there.

21. Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.

22. It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.

23. Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.

24. "One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.

On this day: February 9, 1981 - Bill Haley
American singer and musician Bill Haley who became known as the first Rock 'n' Roll star, was found dead, fully clothed on his bed at his home in Harlingen, Texas from a heart attack, aged 55. He scored the 1955 UK & US No.1 single 'Rock Around the Clock' as well as 'See You Later, Alligator’, ‘Shake, Rattle and Roll’, ‘Rocket 88’, ‘Skinny Minnie’, and ‘Razzle Dazzle’. Haley was blinded in his left eye as a child due to a botched operation and later adopted his distinctive spit-curl hairstyle to distract attention from his blind eye. via thisdayinmusic.com

Born Today February 9th, 1942 - Carole King
American singer-songwriter and musician Carole King. One of the most successful female songwriters of the latter half of the 20th century in the US, she wrote or co-wrote 118 pop hits on the Billboard Hot 100. and wrote 61 hits that charted in the UK making her the most successful female songwriter on the UK singles charts between 1962 and 2005. Her 1970 US No.1 album Tapestry has sold over 15 million copies, remained on the US charts for more than six years and became a Grammy Award winner in 1971. via thisdayinmusic.com

'Ettes, The ONT Is Always Looking Out For You^TM

Jean Shorts Send Woman To Hospital With Life-Threatening Wedgie

Fashion is so important to some people that they will sacrifice comfort for style. That's what one woman did and because of it, her choice of shorts wound up sending her to the hospital.

In a video on TikTok, a 25-year-old from North Carolina named Sam explains how she wore tight jean shorts on a full-day-long date with a guy she recently met. She reveals that she had "a wedgie for 8 hours," but she didn't think much of it until the next day, when she woke up with a really sore butt.

She wrote it off but it didn't go away and as days went on, she felt more and more sick, eventually going to a doctor. Her physician gave her antibiotics for a possible skin infection on her rear. Unfortunately, the medicine didn't help her and the next day, she felt so bad that she couldn't even walk due to a stabbing pain in her behind. It hurt so much that she went to the ER, where she was admitted into the ICU with what doctors diagnosed as a bacterial skin infection called cellulitis, which had led to life-threatening

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is a slogan but not the truth. It really is that simple.

A felon who pleaded guilty to biting a cop proceeded to beat another inmate – in the same courtroom where a man recently jumped at a judge.

Dustin Langham, 18, was sitting next to fellow inmate Berdon Bridge in Clark County District Court when Langham got up suddenly and began pounding Bridge who was seated in front of him, shows a video obtained by KLAS.

Yelling could be heard including curse words beeped out, and a people could be heard demanding, ‘sit down’.

Court marshals and corrections officers separated the men and handcuffed Langham on the ground. Bridge was escorted away by officers and the other inmates in the Las Vegas courtroom were also led out.

My calendar says tomorrow is February 11th and some event called the "Super Bowl" will be played. My thoughts are:

Business cards are important. Business cards with samples: Genius AwardWinning.

FEBRUARY 7--In an apparent bid to drum up customers for his drug business, a Canadian man handed out business cards with a small sample of cocaine attached, police allege.

According to cops, Seyyed Amir Razavi, 30, distributed the cards outside a casino in Calgary (where Razavi resides).

Investigators learned of the cards in late-December and launched a probe that resulted in the February 3 arrest of Razavi on narcotics possession and trafficking charges.

A police search of Razavi’s auto and residence yielded 50 baggies of cocaine, a digital scale with drug residue, and $1280 in cash. Cops also seized a box of business cards with the name “Alex Lee.”

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Trust.

Notice: Posted tonight with sketchy permission, some one left a note on the door of the Ace Media Center & AceCorp, LLC, that it was OK.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:45 PM

| Access Comments