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Food Thread: Castro Was A Pimp, He Could Never Have Outfought A Cubano

I am in the land of the Cuban sandwich...Cubano for those in the know...and as part of a Cuban food brawl last night we got a few of them. Very tasty, but as odd as it may sound coming from someone whose food ethos includes "more is better," they were overstuffed with meat, and that meant they weren't really pressed the way a great Cubano should be.

The glory of the Cubano is the crispy, buttery bread that adds that fantastic crunch to every bite. The ham and the cheese and the mustard are vital*, but if my hands aren't a bit greasy and my mouth isn't a bit sore from the cracklingly crisp bread, then someone hasn't done their job!

Overstuffing the sandwich, as well-meaning and delicious as that can be, means that the sandwich can't be pressed down hard in the press, and the bread doesn't get compressed and crisp. It's still a good sandwich if the ingredients are good, as evidenced by the two sandwiches I ate along with the Arroz Con Pollo, the garlicky yucca, the rice and beans, the pork with onion that was surprisingly good, pulled chicken, a couple of grilled shrimp, and...um...I think that's it.

*Did I forget to mention the pickles? They add a fantastic vinegary component to the sandwich that is just delicious!

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Has anyone noticed a decrease in quality in the onions they are getting from the market? Not you lucky few who can grow their own...I mean most of us...the great unwashed...who get them in three pound sacks or from big bins at the supermarket. I have noticed over the past few years a clear problem...mushy or even rotted onions. But not obviously on the outside! These look and feel okay when I buy them, but when I get home and peel them or slice them open the problem reveals itself.

It is also entirely possible that I am using more onions nowadays and I am just getting a better sample of the onion crop.

Yup! That's math!

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From San FranPsycho comes some food porn with an option to talk sh*t about his lib relatives!

[T]hese are photos of chanterelles that our rich lib cousins harvested from their ranch in Sonoma. Photos show mushrooms prepared for roasting, and then roasted with their liqueur on the side. I used both in last night's chicken marsala and the results were *chef's kiss* They were tender yet meaty and had a very rich flavor.

Do I see a pig aloft? Liberals feeding conservatives?

Chanterelles are delicious!

Mushrooms are great. The mass-market cultivated ones usually called Button Mushrooms grown in huge operations are pretty good in a pinch, but if you can get the more interesting varieties like Chanterelles or Portobellos (mature Button mushrooms) or Porcinis, or if you are lucky and can get Morels, then you are definitely in for a treat! And there are a bunch of interesting ones used in many Asian cuisines that are worth a try.

Just don't wander off into the local woods and harvest your...you know...never mind. Go for it! But first put me in your will.

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Yeah...Ree Drummond is sort of irritating. But she cooks with a lot of butter, which makes up for her pomposity. Well...some of it anyway.

I do like the idea of a savory biscuit. I think it would go well with a bunch of dishes, but a good old fashioned roast chicken comes to mind!

The Pioneer Woman's Rosemary-Garlic Butter Bath Biscuits

But what's this "self-rising flour" affectation? It's just low protein flour with baking powder and salt. Why not just add that to the recipe? I know there are Southern brands (White Lily comes to mind), and if that's what your grandmother used, then I get it. But what about Jewish kids who were born in the Bronx? What are we...Chopped Liver?

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I have had a big cast-iron skillet for many years. I use it for a bunch of things, although recently it has been my go-to pan for roasting chicken, specifically a spatchcocked bird on a bed of onions or leaks. Delicious, easy, and impressive when it comes out of the oven.

But last night I cooked a couple of New York strips in it, mostly because it was snowing, and I am becoming a wimp. I really didn't feel like firing up the grill and standing in wet snow for 10 minutes. That doesn't mean I was happy about the situation...I am a firm believer in the superiority of grilling over all other steak preparation, because FIRE GOOD! But I also don't like wet feet, so...

Anyway, I started the steaks in a blazing hot, dry pan, and gave them a couple of undisturbed minutes so they could develop a nice crust. A few flips, then into the oven for a few more minutes under the broiler.

So far so good, and my feet were dry! I checked the doneness and realized they needed a few more minutes, so back onto the stove with a big knob of butter, a couple of garlic cloves and some fresh thyme. A 10 minute rest and they were delicious with some roasted Brussels Sprouts and a big salad.

Wait...were you waiting for a catastrophe? Nope. In fact, the reason I even mentioned this dish is that when I rinsed out the skillet, the seasoning looked absolutely perfect. Definitely better than after roasting chicken. I usually scrub with some Kosher salt, but after a few seconds I realized that the pan was already clean. A wipe with a clean cloth, back on the stove to dry it thoroughly, and Chez Dildo's cast-iron was back in business.

I wonder whether beef fat is simply superior to chicken fat, and the seasoning that occurred at the higher temperature under the broiler and on a high flame on the stove worked better.

I still prefer grilling, but the dry pan for a good crust, and finishing with butter and herbs was quite nice!

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We are entering the dark and cold months of winter, and there is very little more satisfying on a frigid weekend afternoon than something merrily braising away for several hours. And most of those are robust cuts of meat that won't break the bank! Chuck roasts and legs of lamb and my personal favorite...pork shanks. But they are really difficult to find, at least around here. I have been told that the big restaurant supply stores will often carry them, but even I am a bit intimidated by an entire case of pork shanks.

But for this recipe I might have to pull the trigger! Braised and Roasted Pork Shanks with Prosciutto and Porcini Mushrooms looks delicious. And familiar. I may have made it in the distant past, or mentioned it on these august pages, but I have no memory of it. I'm going to make it though. And I'll bet the entire house will smell divine.

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Restaurant reviewers are, in the main, incredible assholes. Their reviews of restaurants are suspiciously political, obviously worshipful of the hip and the new, and dismissive of most good, solid fare that real people enjoy.

This is stolen from Joe Mannix's excellent rant on Wednesday, and it is so obviously a tongue-bath in service to a political agenda that I am amazed that the critic could write it with a straight face.

The surprise, the great surprise, is the chicken livers. They are perfect. Soft, with that mysterious, renal flavour that is medicinal and industrial, but also like earth and grass and licked copper.

But they also turn the occasional phrase that makes one laugh out loud.

From 11 of the Best Bad Restaurant Reviews Ever comes a few choice lines.

The meat inside the shells is small and shrivelled and dry; each shell contains what looks like the retracted scrotum of a hairless cat.

Hey [Guy], did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?

Mac 'n' cheese is real prison slop ... $32 on what is surely one the worst things anyone can eat outside of Rikers.

[Hat Tip: Pete Bog]

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The oyster imperative remains in effect, and send pork rib roasts with the pork belly attached, Broccolini that isn't $6/bunch (and speaking of vegetables; were all of our snap peas stolen by space aliens?), garlic...lots of garlic! (and basil! My basil did not do well this year!), well-marbled hanger steaks and elk chops to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that the rest of you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: so why don't you put maple syrup on your steaks and chops and chicken?

But the real culprits are those poor deluded souls who shake their Manhattans.

However, I will give dispensation to those who use maple syrup on Brussels Sprouts! I tried that last week and it worked nicely. I still prefer Agave, but still...

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.