We Wish You A Merry ONT

We're in the home stretch to Christmas. How is everyone doing out there in Moronland?

It's Nice To See Hunter Biden Working For A Living

McDonald’s closes after customer says crack pipe found in breakfast order

An Ohio McDonald’s was closed by health inspectors after a customer reported getting a crack pipe in a drive-thru breakfast order.

The anonymous customer initially posted on Reddit about the disturbing find in his Tuesday morning order at one of the fast food chain’s locations in Columbus.

He said he brought the bag back to the store, alerting a manager so that something similar wouldn’t “end up in a Happy Meal.”

However, he declined an offered refund and instead reported it to Franklin County Public Health, the post said.

Health inspectors then closed the location Wednesday after finding multiple health code violations during building work there, according to the Columbus Dispatch.

Boy, Happy Meals sure have changed since I was a kid.

Question Of The Evening

What is it that would make you go “Hmmm” if you noticed your neighbor putting it into his garage?

Man's Best Friend

I thought this cartoon dedicated to the cartoonist's dog was touching

Our Broken Education System

Teacher left in tears after principal confiscates pizzas she brought for hard-working students because 'it wasn't fair to other classes'

I F'in hate this shit. * spit * “Equity”

Parents of students of a class at Brody Middle School in Des Moines are frustrated since the principal of the school, Thomas Hoffman, canceled a pizza party that one of the teachers had arranged for her students as a reward for hard work.

This was announced to the students months before and was an event that kids were looking forward to. However, once the pizzas were delivered and paid for, and just before the students could dig in, the principal came around and confiscated them. 

One of the parents shared this on Facebook and the post has since gone viral. Neil Erickson wrote, "My son attends Brody Middle School here in Des Moines. His class earned a pizza party that I believe the teacher paid for. He has been excited for this for days…telling me about it and how they earned it."

He added, "Well today was the day. The pizzas were delivered to the class… the teacher paid and signed the receipt. Principal walks into the classroom and says 'I never approve pizza parties' or something to that effect. He took the pizzas from the kids and let them sit in the office for the teacher to pick up after school. Now my son and his classmates lost the party they worked hard to earn and the pizza I'm sure is wasted now…and the teacher was left in tears. I just cant believe it!"

Where in the hell did the idea that it's wrong for kids to “feel bad” come from? I want kids to feel bad. I want them upset that they didn't get an “A” if they didn't do “A” work. I want them seeing other kids getting things that they didn't because the other kids earned it. I won't say that I want them to cry, but sometimes they need to cry. That's how you grow. That's how you learn. That's how you become an adult.

Go, Canada

Canadians Flee The Country In The Fourth Highest Volume In 73 Years

Canada is set to have a banger of a year when it comes to resident outflows. There were 74,017 emigrants year to date (YTD), already hitting 79% of the total last year. The final quarter of 2023 can come in lower than the previous two years and still print one of the biggest years ever for outflows.  

Canada’s outflows have largely been ignored since record population growth obfuscates it. Most policymakers would point to the net increase as reason to ignore the issue. However, this dismisses an important point that is beginning to surface—if the people most familiar with a country don’t see opportunity, how long can it attract immigrants? 

In short, Canada is being run like a dodgy, fly-by-night credit card company. Its operators don’t really care about losing clients, as long as the inflow of new ones outpaces the old ones. At a certain point though, a reputation develops and turns into a warning for new clients. Canada may have reached that point, with study permit applications declining sharply, indicating future population growth won’t be so robust. 

If native Canadians leave but are replaced by an equal or greater number of immigrants from countries that do not share Canadian values and culture, how long before Canada stops being Canada and starts being the same as the countries they left behind? Especially as they are not expected to integrate? Put it another way, Afghanistan and Canada both have about 40 million people. If you snapped your fingers and switched them, do you think the former Afghanis now Canadians would be the same peaceful and friendly neighbors that the current Canadians are? The same thing is happening down here, there are just a lot more of us to displace, and we don't have anywhere to go. Although, given recent events, we might start to echo Jason Isaacs' character in The Patriot, bargaining with Cornwallis for his spoils: “So, tell me about...Argentina”.

Look! A List!

The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time

Well of course they screwed up. Tell us how in the comments below.

Dirty Boy

Amou Haji: The man who didn’t shower for 67 years

After the first attempt at forcing Amou Haji to bathe, the villagers mostly left him alone about his washing habits. But at the age of 94, some villagers used a kinder approach and were able to escort Amou Haji to a proper bathroom where he could have his first bath in 67 years. 

This offer was well-meaning, and there was no ill will involved. In fact, the people of the village had done many small things over the years to help improve Haji’s life, including building him his small cinder block shack. 

After his bath, little changed for Haji. He still lived in his shack, ate roadkill, and drank dirty water. But soon he became ill, and his health began to decline. 

There’s no way to know for sure if the bath killed Amou Haji, or if it was just bad timing. Either way, a few months went by, and Amou Haji passed away in his home. At the time of his death, Haji was 94 years old.

So if your kids don't want to take their baths, maybe they're just planning on a long, long life.

Football Follies

Al Michaels out of NBC’s NFL playoff coverage in move he wasn’t expecting

The legendary Al Michaels is out of NBC’s NFL playoff coverage, The Post has learned.
Michaels called last year’s incredible Jaguars comeback win over the Chargers, but he and analyst Tony Dungy were widely panned for a perceived lack of enthusiasm.

Michaels, 79, maybe the greatest NFL TV play-by-player of all-time, had a storied run at ABC and NBC calling prime-time football before moving to “Thursday Night Football” on Amazon Prime Video last season.

NBC has four playoff games next month. The network’s No. 1 team, “Sunday Night Football’s” Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth, will handle three of them, including one that will be exclusive just to the network’s streaming service, Peacock.

I haven't seen official confirmation of this, but the word is that this is a result of Michaels being critical of all the attention and publicity being given to Taylor Swift dating Travis Kelse instead of the, you know, actual football game. Which makes sense, we wouldn't want football games to be about football or anything.

Related: Anyone looking forward to the Ravens/49ers game Monday night? Should be a banger.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by the happiest day of her life:

posted by WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

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