Lazy, Low-Skill Generation Z Zeros Say They Should Be Hired for Their Personalities, Not Their Qualifications or Job Performance

Tech companies actually were hiring unqualified ninnies for their "personalities," and for diversity checkbox purposes. Photos of the staff at tech firms often featured lots of young dorky-looking men -- the actual workers -- and also a lot of cute bubbly sorority girls. These were hired for purposes of decoration and giving the dorky dudes something to look at in between coding.

They're doing less of that now that the Era of Dirt-Cheap Credit is over and shareholders expect them to start turning a profit.

But young useless "workers" insist they should be hired no matter how unqualified they are because they bring good "vibes" to an office.

Forget the resume -- Gen Z thinks you should hire them for their personalities.

According to the youngest generation in the workforce, their humor and wit provides a certain vibrance older employees apparently lack.

They've even invented a term -- "personality hire" -- to describe their self-perceived function in a corporate setting: to provide all the jokes, banter and playfulness needed in order to "set the vibes."

TikToker and corporate America employee Bella Rose Mortel, a 22-year-old self-proclaimed "chief vibes officer," told Business Insider that her previous managers have appreciated her "energy," calling it "the nicest compliment" she's received.

After her series of TikToks calling for an "unserious" workplace and the integration of Gen Z lingo into office parlance went viral, Mortel said her manager at software company Beehiiv found the videos hilarious.

"In a team call yesterday, he was like, 'Before we get started, Bella Rose, do you want to set the vibes today for our call?'" the social media strategist told Business Insider.

Mortel's videos have sparked realization among fellow so-called "personality hires," who feel their mission is to lighten things up, not lighten someone else's workload.

So... I hear you saying you want to be paid just for being a girl.

That's what I hear you saying.

...

In the video, which scored 6.5 million views, the "personality hire" plays with her colleague's hair and, despite having "no idea" what a certain project is about, fearlessly volunteers to call the "terrifying" boss and sweettalk him into an extension.

"The personality hire is also the client whisperer," commented one viewer.

"The personality hire is critical to the social equilibrium of the workplace," voiced another.

...

For anyone eager to take on the burden of the "personality hire" and "stay playful at work," Mortel recommends slowly integrating Gen Z slang terms into the office to transform your boss into a "girlie."

"This is what you gotta do," she instructed, advising viewers to call their managers "king." "Every time they're like, 'Hey, great job,' you say, 'Slay.'"

When they begin to say it back, that's when you know you've met your performance goals, or "brought the vibes to the workplace."

Basically, they want to change the name of "Diversity Hires," which almost makes it sound like businesses are hiring people who are unqualified for the job (almost!), to "Personality Hires," which makes it sound like unqualified people with bad work ethics are somehow really bringing a lot to the table.

Business Insider euphemizes these unqualified deadweights as people with "soft skills."

Of course the idiots on TikTok are all self-IDing as personality hires, or demanding they they be given jobs as personality hires.

There's a video of the article at the TikTok dullard who started this new meme. She's absolutely insufferable. The "vibe" she brings is a violent hatred of the human race and a desire to see it ended.

So the big thing she brings to work is getting her boss to say "slay."

But the youngest generation, Generation Alpha, says that's a trap. Saying "slay" is now passe and makes you sound old.

Using the words 'slay', 'bet' and the laughing emoji makes you look old, according to Generation Alpha.

The slang terms, popular with Gen Z (those aged 13-26), are 'out' and newer terms including 'GYAT', 'preppy' and the crying emoji are in.

Influencer Nicole Pellegrino, 31, from New Jersey shared a clip to Tiktok speaking to her 'Gen Alpha' sister and her 'bestie'.

Gen Alpha, those currently aged 13 and under, believe that when texting, if you laugh you should send the crying emoji instead.

'If something is funny, you do the crying emoji, no one laughs by laughing,' Nicole's sister explains in the clip.

'The skull is used if you're insulting someone, as a joke,' she adds.

She then goes onto explain that if she got a text saying 'I have a bigger GYAT than you, she would reply saying BSFR ('be so for real') followed by a skull emoji to imply that she disagrees.

A dictionary to the new Gen Alpha slang terms

Gyat: A term used to describe a person's curvaceous behind (girl your a** thick)

Rizzler: Someone who is a good at picking up women

Skibidi: Derived from the YouTube animated series Skibidi Toilet, used in gaming to describe someone who is evil or bad

Fanum tax: Someone who steals your food, comes from a creator named Fanum who was often seen grabbing bites of his friends' meals

Preppy: Wearing pink or pastel

Vanilla girl: Wearing collegiate style clothes

Crying emoji: Something is funny

Skull emoji: Something is funny in a jokey mean way

Bet (favoured by Gen Z, now out): For sure

Slay (favoured by Gen Z, now out), you've done well

Ugh.

But seriously - you guys are slay.

posted by Disinformation Expert Ace at 02:32 PM

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