Saturday Overnight Open Thread (8/26/23)

My parents sent me to swimming lessons. I thought this guy had retired years ago.

Lifeguard kicks man off 10m-high dive board for refusing to come down in horror video

It is understood the young man climbed to the top of the diving board but was overcome with fear and couldn't jump or climb down – so the lifeguard brutally kicked him over the edge

Speaking of swimming. Something I'll never ever have to worry about. WORN OUT Exact number of times you can re-wear swimwear on vacation according to science

Looking for a new career? With your selection, be careful. That career might become extinct.

Gone is the soda jerk and milkman. The telegraphists and the bowling alley pinsetters are relics of the past. The haberdasher, town crier, and lowly VCR repairman have all gone the way of the lamplighter. And that’s just during the 20th century! Due to advances in technology and the evolution of society, many occupations that were once considered essential no longer exist in today’s job market. Here’s a look at common professions that have disappeared over the past few centuries.

First there was "Florida Man". Now it seems there is "Florida Monkey".

Wild monkeys have been spotted in Orange City, Fla., sparking warnings from local officials to stay away from the on-the-loose primates.

Orange City police warned residents not to feed a wild rhesus monkey seen in the town, about 30 miles north of Orlando.

If dawgs needed counseling.............

When I hear Travis Air Force Base I only think of one thing. No, not a new city surrounding it. But the mighty Frank Zappa's "Billy The Mountain".

Amysterious organization may have plans to build an entirely new city near the eastern edge of the San Francisco Bay Area after acquiring some 52,000 acres over the last five years.

Flannery Associates has sent a survey to residents in Solano County about potential support for a “new city with tens of thousands of new homes,” SFGate reported.

Flannery Associates, which is incorporated in Delaware and consequently does not have to report who runs the group, began purchasing parcels of land near Fairfield, roughly 40 miles east of Oakland, in 2018, but has yet to develop on any of the land.

According to SFGate, Flannery Associates now owns the most land of any single group in Solano County.

Let me see if I understand this. You spend a good chunk of your life's earnings for a home. Before you buy said home you are given a list of rules commandments. But you choose not to read and comprehend the rules and go out and spend a shit ton of money for an EV truck. Sucks to be you Butter cup.

'HURT HOME VALUES' My HOA claims my vehicle broke their parking rules – but I think their regulations are outdated

A HOMEOWNER has criticized his HOA after they stated his new car broke their rules.

The Florida resident has bought a $100,000 Rivian R1T pickup truck but he might be hit with fines or even lose his home of 27 years.

There. That is enough about current events........

A Saturday night ONT should be fun and educational. Well mostly fun. But if you want educational, here you go.

21 Incredible Facts No One Knows.

12. The Vatican bank allows customers to conduct ATM transactions in Latin.

I took Latin in H.S. I hated it and my grades reflected by loathing.

And on a sad note.

RIP Whitesnake's guitarist Bernie Marsden.

I agree, living in an apartment with neighbors on top of you is not ideal. Genius Award Winner.

A Florida chemistry student was caught on a neighbor’s hidden camera allegedly injecting an opioid “chemical agent” underneath their front door, causing the family and their newborn baby to fall ill, according to police.

Umar Abdullah and his pregnant wife moved into their new condo in Tampa in June 2022 and were warmly welcomed by other residents in the building.

Shortly after, however, Abdullah began receiving texts from his disgruntled downstairs neighbor, Xuming Li, a seemingly “regular guy” who complained about losing sleep and hearing the toilet seat move, he told WFLA.

I'm not sure why Xuming didn't use the opioids himself.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Math Spelling.

Notice: Posted with permission by the Uber driver who dropped me off at the damn Ace Media Empire HQ on a Saturday Night.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:45 PM

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