Ace of Spades HQ

« Saturday Evening Movie Post [moviegique]: Machine Gun Preacher | Main | Daily Tech News 18 June 2023 »

June 17, 2023

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (6/17/23)

***

The Saturday Night Joke

A young woman joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. She went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take her
first jump from an airplane. The next day, she called home to tell her mother the news.

'So, did you jump?' asked the mother.

"Well, let me tell you what happened," the girl said. "We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers.; About a dozen people got up and just walked out of the plane."

"Is that when you jumped?"asked her mother.

"Uh, no. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and threw them out the door."

''Did you jump then?" asked her mother.

"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last one left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."

"So, did you jump?''

"No. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I; grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, "Are you gonna jump or not?''; I said, 'No sir, I'm too scared.'"

"So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his you-know-what. I swear, Mom, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat! He said, 'Either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'"

"So, did you jump?" asked her mother.

"Well, a little, at first." (H/T AZ deplorable moron)

***

Well the price sounds good. No word on the lot/acreage cost where this would be put.Tiny house, tiny price from the Home Depot.

INSTANT ABODE Home Depot is selling a $52,300 tiny home – it has two floors, a garage and you won’t have a mortgage

***

Yes. The ONT is math free. But in this one case can we discuss physics? What is the formula for this to occur?

BOXBOROUGH, Mass. —
State and local first responders were called to Boxborough, Massachusetts, Tuesday after an SUV was found standing on its nose wedged between trees in a wooded area off Interstate 495.

Pictures from the scene posted by the Boxborough Fire Department show the heavily damaged white Jeep Compass, which was discovered at about 7:30 a.m. Tuesday on I-495 South just south of the Route 2 interchange with no driver or passengers present.

***

No shit Sherlocks.

Why You Should Take a Pre-Run Poop, According to Science
As a new study suggests, pooping before a hard workout or race can act as a performance enhancer.

***

This makes me think TWICE before swimming in salt water ever again.

***

The Ace of Spades, a smart military blog and a blog that recognizes beauty.

In the world of aviation, the marriage of beauty and function has birthed stunning creations, with aesthetics and power being held in equal regard. From their sleek, streamlined profiles to the roaring might of their engines, these aircraft are more than just mere machines; they’re pieces of art, each one an embodiment of humanity’s indomitable spirit and thirst for discovery. In this article, we pay homage to 12 of the most beautiful military aircraft ever developed.

***

Things don't always work out as planned.................

***

About that dick measuring contest......

'It's not easy having huge penises – they hurt women in the bedroom'
These men have some of the biggest penises on the planet. Although many blokes dream of having a big wang, it's not so rosy in reality for these owners of massive todgers

***

Can Morons explain the unexplainable?

Over 1,000 people were reported missing from national parks between 2018 and the first two months of 2023, according to records seen by the New York Post.

The vast majority of these cases are quickly shut as hikers are recovered or found dead from suicide, tragic accidents, or heat exhaustion.

However, there are a few mysteries that continue to haunt outdoorsmen as there have been no leads despite years of searching.

Many of these cases center around the Grand Canyon National Park, which is notorious for seeing helicopter crashes and fatal falls.

***

The ONT Musical Interlude & Ace Bandage Emporium

&&&

***

This is not what is meant by Animal Husbandry or even boyfriend. Genius Award Winner.

Penn State professor Themis Matsoukas accused of performing sexual acts with his dog: ‘I do it to blow off steam’

***

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by the Secret ONT Office Furniture.

Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC & the little gremlins which inhabit the spacious conference room.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:45 PM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries In Through The ONT Door Stairway to Stardom Cafe The Week in Woke Axios Claims Dan Bongino and Kash Patel Are "Furious" About Pam Bondi's Mishandling of the Epstein Case; Bongino Supposedly Will Quit Unless Bondi Is Fired James Gunn's Superman No Longer Fights for "The American Way," but "the Human Way;" He and His Brother Both Say the Movie Is About How Vital Immigrants Are to Our Country Quick Hits Trump Is Firing Hundreds and Hundreds of DOJ and State Department Lefties and Layabouts Fake Republicans Are Blocking Trump's Minor, 0.2% Recission Package Plus: Was the "One Big Beautiful Bill" Actually... Good? "Protester" Gunman Opens Fire On ICE Agents as Democrats Continue Stoking Violence THE MORNING RANT: 2025 Has Been an Awful Year for EVs, and It Keeps Getting Worse Absent Friends Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Texas MoMe 2025: 10/17/2025-10/18/2025 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Saturday Evening Movie Post [moviegique]: Machine Gun Preacher \| Main \| Daily Tech News 18 June 2023 » June 17, 2023 Saturday Overnight Open Thread (6/17/23) ***** The Saturday Night Joke** A young woman joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. She went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take her first jump from an airplane. The next day, she called home to tell her mother the news. 'So, did you jump?' asked the mother. "Well, let me tell you what happened," the girl said. "We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers.; About a dozen people got up and just walked out of the plane." "Is that when you jumped?"asked her mother. "Uh, no. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and threw them out the door." ''Did you jump then?" asked her mother. "I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last one left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt." "So, did you jump?'' "No. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I; grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, "Are you gonna jump or not?''; I said, 'No sir, I'm too scared.'" "So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his you-know-what. I swear, Mom, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat! He said, 'Either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'" "So, did you jump?" asked her mother. "Well, a little, at first." (H/T AZ deplorable moron) ***** Well the price sounds good. No word on the lot/acreage cost where this would be put.Tiny house, tiny price from the Home Depot. INSTANT ABODE Home Depot is selling a $52,300 tiny home – it has two floors, a garage and you won’t have a mortgage *** Yes. The ONT is math free. But in this one case can we discuss physics? What is the formula for this to occur? BOXBOROUGH, Mass. — State and local first responders were called to Boxborough, Massachusetts, Tuesday after an SUV was found standing on its nose wedged between trees in a wooded area off Interstate 495. Pictures from the scene posted by the Boxborough Fire Department show the heavily damaged white Jeep Compass, which was discovered at about 7:30 a.m. Tuesday on I-495 South just south of the Route 2 interchange with no driver or passengers present. *** No shit Sherlocks. Why You Should Take a Pre-Run Poop, According to Science As a new study suggests, pooping before a hard workout or race can act as a performance enhancer. *** This makes me think TWICE before swimming in salt water ever again. *** The Ace of Spades, a smart military blog and a blog that recognizes beauty. In the world of aviation, the marriage of beauty and function has birthed stunning creations, with aesthetics and power being held in equal regard. From their sleek, streamlined profiles to the roaring might of their engines, these aircraft are more than just mere machines; they’re pieces of art, each one an embodiment of humanity’s indomitable spirit and thirst for discovery. In this article, we pay homage to 12 of the most beautiful military aircraft ever developed. *** Things don't always work out as planned................. *** About that dick measuring contest...... 'It's not easy having huge penises – they hurt women in the bedroom' These men have some of the biggest penises on the planet. Although many blokes dream of having a big wang, it's not so rosy in reality for these owners of massive todgers *** Can Morons explain the unexplainable? Over 1,000 people were reported missing from national parks between 2018 and the first two months of 2023, according to records seen by the New York Post. The vast majority of these cases are quickly shut as hikers are recovered or found dead from suicide, tragic accidents, or heat exhaustion. However, there are a few mysteries that continue to haunt outdoorsmen as there have been no leads despite years of searching. Many of these cases center around the Grand Canyon National Park, which is notorious for seeing helicopter crashes and fatal falls. *** The ONT Musical Interlude & Ace Bandage Emporium &&& *** This is not what is meant by Animal Husbandry or even boyfriend. Genius Award Winner. Penn State professor Themis Matsoukas accused of performing sexual acts with his dog: ‘I do it to blow off steam’ ***** Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by the Secret ONT Office Furniture. Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC & the little gremlins which inhabit the spacious conference room. posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:45 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments JackStraw: "n't ..." BifBewalski [/i][/u][/s][/b]: "Have a friend that just finished a ride from Damas ..." sock_rat_eez[/i][/s][/b][/u]: "without commentary ... ; https://is.gd/Vu9D0t ..." Yudhishthira's Dice: "I'm gonna go watch Cobra right now. ..." JackStraw: ">>This is what kills me! and causes me to brace fo ..." The Meat Store: "[i]looks for Bersekrer Posted by: Pug Mahon,W ..." Hacked gp's Feed Off The Bird: "Cobra and Invasion USA should be in the Pantheon. ..." Pug Mahon,With a Towel: "Richard Farnsworth Posted by: Skip at July 11, 20 ..." Yudhishthira's Dice: "think it would be interesting to do a thread on th ..." Hacked gp's Feed Off The Bird: "297 That one really surprised me. I didn't expect ..." Blonde Morticia: " There's a lot of low hanging fruit out there. I ..." Skip: "It's The Straight Story, guy rides his lawn tracto ..." Recent Entries In Through The ONT Door Stairway to Stardom Cafe The Week in Woke Axios Claims Dan Bongino and Kash Patel Are "Furious" About Pam Bondi's Mishandling of the Epstein Case; Bongino Supposedly Will Quit Unless Bondi Is Fired James Gunn's Superman No Longer Fights for "The American Way," but "the Human Way;" He and His Brother Both Say the Movie Is About How Vital Immigrants Are to Our Country Quick Hits Trump Is Firing Hundreds and Hundreds of DOJ and State Department Lefties and Layabouts Fake Republicans Are Blocking Trump's Minor, 0.2% Recission Package Plus: Was the "One Big Beautiful Bill" Actually... Good? "Protester" Gunman Opens Fire On ICE Agents as Democrats Continue Stoking Violence THE MORNING RANT: 2025 Has Been an Awful Year for EVs, and It Keeps Getting Worse Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64