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« Saturday Evening Movie Post [moviegique]: Machine Gun Preacher | Main | Daily Tech News 18 June 2023 »
June 17, 2023

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (6/17/23)

6 17 23 0nt.jpg

***


The Saturday Night Joke

A young woman joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. She went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take her
first jump from an airplane. The next day, she called home to tell her mother the news.

'So, did you jump?' asked the mother.

"Well, let me tell you what happened," the girl said. "We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers.; About a dozen people got up and just walked out of the plane."

"Is that when you jumped?"asked her mother.

"Uh, no. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and threw them out the door."

''Did you jump then?" asked her mother.

"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last one left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."

"So, did you jump?''

"No. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I; grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, "Are you gonna jump or not?''; I said, 'No sir, I'm too scared.'"

"So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his you-know-what. I swear, Mom, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat! He said, 'Either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'"


"So, did you jump?" asked her mother.


"Well, a little, at first." (H/T AZ deplorable moron)


***


Well the price sounds good. No word on the lot/acreage cost where this would be put.Tiny house, tiny price from the Home Depot.

INSTANT ABODE Home Depot is selling a $52,300 tiny home – it has two floors, a garage and you won’t have a mortgage


***


Yes. The ONT is math free. But in this one case can we discuss physics? What is the formula for this to occur?

BOXBOROUGH, Mass. —
State and local first responders were called to Boxborough, Massachusetts, Tuesday after an SUV was found standing on its nose wedged between trees in a wooded area off Interstate 495.

Pictures from the scene posted by the Boxborough Fire Department show the heavily damaged white Jeep Compass, which was discovered at about 7:30 a.m. Tuesday on I-495 South just south of the Route 2 interchange with no driver or passengers present.


***


No shit Sherlocks.

Why You Should Take a Pre-Run Poop, According to Science
As a new study suggests, pooping before a hard workout or race can act as a performance enhancer.


***


This makes me think TWICE before swimming in salt water ever again.


***

The Ace of Spades, a smart military blog and a blog that recognizes beauty.

In the world of aviation, the marriage of beauty and function has birthed stunning creations, with aesthetics and power being held in equal regard. From their sleek, streamlined profiles to the roaring might of their engines, these aircraft are more than just mere machines; they’re pieces of art, each one an embodiment of humanity’s indomitable spirit and thirst for discovery. In this article, we pay homage to 12 of the most beautiful military aircraft ever developed.


***


Things don't always work out as planned.................


***


About that dick measuring contest......

'It's not easy having huge penises – they hurt women in the bedroom'
These men have some of the biggest penises on the planet. Although many blokes dream of having a big wang, it's not so rosy in reality for these owners of massive todgers

***


Can Morons explain the unexplainable?

Over 1,000 people were reported missing from national parks between 2018 and the first two months of 2023, according to records seen by the New York Post.

The vast majority of these cases are quickly shut as hikers are recovered or found dead from suicide, tragic accidents, or heat exhaustion.

However, there are a few mysteries that continue to haunt outdoorsmen as there have been no leads despite years of searching.

Many of these cases center around the Grand Canyon National Park, which is notorious for seeing helicopter crashes and fatal falls.


***


The ONT Musical Interlude & Ace Bandage Emporium

&&&



***


This is not what is meant by Animal Husbandry or even boyfriend. Genius Award Winner.

Penn State professor Themis Matsoukas accused of performing sexual acts with his dog: ‘I do it to blow off steam’


***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by the Secret ONT Office Furniture.

fnny-ppictures-9-28-22-21(2).jpg


Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC & the little gremlins which inhabit the spacious conference room.


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