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America's Worst Previous President, Jimmy Carter, Dead at 100
THE MORNING RANT: Government is Paying Manufacturers to Produce Electric School Buses, and Then Paying School Districts to Buy Them Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/30/24 Daily Tech News 30 December 2024 Sunday Overnight Open Thread - December 29, 2024 [Doof] Gun Thread: Post Christmas and Pre-New Year 2024 Edition! Food Thread: Raccoons, Brisket, And Latkes...A Match Made In Heaven! First-World Problems... The Progressives Love Lawfare...Payback Is A B*tch! Absent Friends
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| Daily Tech News 5 February 2023 »
February 04, 2023
Saturday Overnight Open Thread (2/4/23)
So a politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name. "So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!"
Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. "It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there's another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!" says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cherrily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he's admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food-fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Ghandi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylin Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear... And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep...
Traditional flowers can be overrated and come off as an easy out. Dare to do something different this Valentine's Day and order your special person an Exotic Jerky Bouquet for only $49.99 by February 3 for guaranteed delivery before the big day!
Visualizing the Odds of Dying from Various Accidents
Earlier in the week The ONT covered Netflix and their new password sharing rules. Netflix says, "Not so fast there Mis. Hum." Netflix Deletes New Password Sharing Rules, Claims They Were Posted in Error
Where to Get Free Froyo on National Frozen Yogurt Day
I like art. I like art museums. And at first glance I thought oh hell no. Celebrate Valentine's Day by completing a naked scavenger hunt The Philadelphia Museum of Art is hosting a naked scavenger hunt to celebrate Valentine's Day. On Feb. 11 from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., guests and their dates can complete the game based on centuries of nude art by answering questions.
Most of you are probably familiar with that world-renowned saying that claims that money can’t buy happiness, but is that actually the case?
I love my mullet. As five-year-old Billy Brady said on The Late Late Toy Show, it’s “business at the front, party at the back”. I recently had my hair cut into the style, and just like Marmite or cheese-and-onion chocolate, it’s proving contentious.
McKinney police urge residents to stay off roadways amid inclement winter weather
On this day: 4 Feb 2000
A very underrated musician.......... Born on this day: 4 Feb 1951
A man allegedly bit the head off of the pet python of a woman he was having a dispute with.
Feb. 3 (UPI) -- A German dog trainer earned a Guinness World Record with his team of talented canines when 14 performing pooches formed a conga line.
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America's Worst Previous President, Jimmy Carter, Dead at 100
THE MORNING RANT: Government is Paying Manufacturers to Produce Electric School Buses, and Then Paying School Districts to Buy Them Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/30/24 Daily Tech News 30 December 2024 Sunday Overnight Open Thread - December 29, 2024 [Doof] Gun Thread: Post Christmas and Pre-New Year 2024 Edition! Food Thread: Raccoons, Brisket, And Latkes...A Match Made In Heaven! First-World Problems... The Progressives Love Lawfare...Payback Is A B*tch! Search
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