Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Recent Entries
Sunday Overnight Open Thread (10/6/24)
Gun Thread: It's October Edition! Food Thread: Braising...It's not just fancy welding! First-World Problems... Free Speech Is Under Attack, And There Is No Accommodation With The Attackers Sunday Morning Book Thread - 10-06-2024 ["Perfessor" Squirrel] Daily Tech News 6 October 2024 Saturday Overnight Open Thread (10/5/24) Music Thread: The Unbearable Lightness Of Messenger Bags Hobby Thread - October 5, 2024 [TRex] Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« The Music Thread: Songs That Are Invalid |
Main
| Daily Tech News 5 February 2023 »
February 04, 2023
Saturday Overnight Open Thread (2/4/23)
So a politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name. "So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!"
Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. "It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there's another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!" says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cherrily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he's admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food-fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Ghandi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylin Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear... And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep...
Traditional flowers can be overrated and come off as an easy out. Dare to do something different this Valentine's Day and order your special person an Exotic Jerky Bouquet for only $49.99 by February 3 for guaranteed delivery before the big day!
Visualizing the Odds of Dying from Various Accidents
Earlier in the week The ONT covered Netflix and their new password sharing rules. Netflix says, "Not so fast there Mis. Hum." Netflix Deletes New Password Sharing Rules, Claims They Were Posted in Error
Where to Get Free Froyo on National Frozen Yogurt Day
I like art. I like art museums. And at first glance I thought oh hell no. Celebrate Valentine's Day by completing a naked scavenger hunt The Philadelphia Museum of Art is hosting a naked scavenger hunt to celebrate Valentine's Day. On Feb. 11 from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., guests and their dates can complete the game based on centuries of nude art by answering questions.
Most of you are probably familiar with that world-renowned saying that claims that money can’t buy happiness, but is that actually the case?
I love my mullet. As five-year-old Billy Brady said on The Late Late Toy Show, it’s “business at the front, party at the back”. I recently had my hair cut into the style, and just like Marmite or cheese-and-onion chocolate, it’s proving contentious.
McKinney police urge residents to stay off roadways amid inclement winter weather
On this day: 4 Feb 2000
A very underrated musician.......... Born on this day: 4 Feb 1951
A man allegedly bit the head off of the pet python of a woman he was having a dispute with.
Feb. 3 (UPI) -- A German dog trainer earned a Guinness World Record with his team of talented canines when 14 performing pooches formed a conga line.
| Recent Comments
Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with the Struggle :
"the booger hook on the boom switch'.
In many wa ..."
Alberta Oil Peon: "They also like to rack their weapons just before g ..." Schnorflepuppy [/s] [/b] [/i] [/u]: "[i]297 Sorry I did not help Weasel get to match CB ..." TRex: "I would like some of those bottomless magazines pe ..." G'rump928(c): "So the TXMOME is weekend after next? I might coul ..." whig: "Sorry I did not help Weasel get to match CBD's cou ..." whig: "290 >>> 287 It's amazing how many movie posters sh ..." Alec Baldwin: "I notice that too and find myself watching for it ..." TRex: "Grateful - reminder to make sure the industrial st ..." [/i][/s][/b][/u]Oddbob: "[i]Pixy really hates less than followed by greater ..." scampydog: "287 It's amazing how many movie posters show the m ..." Schnorflepuppy [/s] [/b] [/i] [/u]: "Need to check out a little early. Thanks Weasel f ..." Recent Entries
Sunday Overnight Open Thread (10/6/24)
Gun Thread: It's October Edition! Food Thread: Braising...It's not just fancy welding! First-World Problems... Free Speech Is Under Attack, And There Is No Accommodation With The Attackers Sunday Morning Book Thread - 10-06-2024 ["Perfessor" Squirrel] Daily Tech News 6 October 2024 Saturday Overnight Open Thread (10/5/24) Music Thread: The Unbearable Lightness Of Messenger Bags Hobby Thread - October 5, 2024 [TRex] Search
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |