Sponsored Content
« Saturday Evening Movie Thread - 3/19/2022 [TheJamesMadison] | Main | Daily Tech News 20 March 2022 »
March 19, 2022

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (3/19/22)

3 19 0nt cover.jpg

***


The Saturday Night Joke

DUGLY HAD SUFFERED FROM HEADACHES

Dugly had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years. He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor said, ‘Dugly, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.

The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.’

Dugly was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.

He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him $15,000.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a Men’s clothing store and thought, ‘That’s what I need… A new suit.’

He entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit.’

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, ‘Let’s see… size 44 long.

Dugly laughed, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’

‘Been in the business 60 years!’ the tailor said.

Dugly tried on the suit it fitted perfectly.

As Dugly admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ‘How about a new shirt?’

Dugly thought for a moment and then said, ‘Sure.’

The salesman eyed Dugly and said, ‘Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.’

Dugly was surprised, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’

‘Been in the business 60 years.’

Dugly tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly.

Dugly walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, ‘How about some new underwear?’

Dugly thought for a moment and said, ‘Sure.’

The salesman said, ‘Let’s see… size 36’.

Dugly laughed, ‘Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.’

The salesman shook his head, ‘You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a Headache.’ (H/T TNDeplorable)


***


When I think of Easter goodies I think of jelly beans and chocolate bunnies. What about you?

Sainsbury's told it's 'gone too far' with latest £1 Easter treat dubbed 'vile'
Sainsbury's supermarket launched its Carrots & Chocolate Houmous as part of the Easter Bunny Snacks range – but shoppers were turned off by the odd flavour combo


***


Holy shit!

March 18 (UPI) -- Seres Therapeutics, a biotech company, has opened a donor collection facility to collect poop for cash in Arizona.

The company operates GoodNature, which has set up shop in Tempe and is asking for donations of poop that can earn donors at least $25 and up to $75 per sample.


***


IMHO American Airline sucks. With that being said, you can once again drink to forget the suckiness.

American Airlines Resumes Alcohol Sales — Americans (Likely) Resume Unruly Behavior
With almost 900 in-flight incidents reported to the Federal Aviation Administration already this year, do we really need more alcohol?


***



***

One was born with a rabbit's foot up his ass, the other a horseshoe.

Two young brothers miraculously managed to survive after spending 27 days lost and alone in the Amazon jungle.

Siblings Glauco, 7, and Gleison, 9, Ferreira disappeared a month ago feared to never be seen again.

But yesterday they were found with severe malnutrition, dehydration and skin abrasions.

They were transferred by plane to a hospital in Manaus, the capital city of the northern Brazilian state of Amazonas.


***


daylight-saving-time-change-1090x886.jpg

Frankly I would rather have my daylight at the end of my business day. Yes. I am selfish.

Changing the clocks twice a year can be a hassle, so some people in the United States want to permanently keep Daylight Saving Time. However, that also means some areas in the country end up with late sunrise, which means going to work or school in the dark. For The Washington Post, Justin Grieser, Joe Fox, and Tim Meko mapped how sunrise times would change.


***


The ONT Musical Interlude & Bob Emporium

3 19 2nd pic.jpg

&&&


3 19 0nt 3rd pci.jpg

&&&


3 19 0nt last pic.jpg


***

No shit, he's our Genius Award Winner.

Truck with porta-potties flips over on slick road
A truck towing porta-potties rolled over near Nine Mile Falls in Spokane County on Thursday morning.

***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Co-Workers.


daily_picdump_3986_640_high_60(1).jpg

(Mystery Click?)


Notice: Posted with permission by the lackeys of the Ace Media Empire. No readmission, no refund. No understanding.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:02 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Joe Mannix (Not a cop!): "I like that song. It reminds me of a song by a ban ..."

Notorious BFD: "[i]Awesome thread Joe. Really enjoying it.[/i] ..."

Moonbeam: "532 Thanks, everyone. I am always thrilled when CB ..."

Eromero: "Eric Johnson ..."

Eromero: "Cliffs Of Dover ..."

Moonbeam: "508- Blue Jimmy - Lonely Like You: https://youtu ..."

Joe Mannix (Not a cop!): "Well, I has a smoked turkey leg for dinner, and it ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "Well, I has a smoked turkey leg for dinner, and it ..."

Joe Mannix (Not a cop!): "Thanks, everyone. I am always thrilled when CBD ca ..."

Thesokorus: "Forgot Dave Alvin played with X in the Knitters ..."

Pete in Texas: "Sprite or Valu-Rite? ..."

Moonbeam: "514 Oh, yeah, Big head Todd and the Monsters...! ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64