Saturday Overnight Open Thread (2/19/22)

A priest came along and asked the boy what he had.

The little boy said, “This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it is called turpentine.”

The priest responded, “No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub Holy Water on a pregnant woman’s belly, she will give birth to a healthy baby.”

The little boy answered, “If you rub turpentine on a cat’s ass, he’ll pass a Harley-Davidson.”

Fantastic! She won't reproduce.

ALLERGIC TO SEX I suffer facial paralysis and a burning sensation that’s like 1million needles piercing me down there after sex

Speaking of sex and reproduction. Family tree or telephone pole? You decide.

We're sisters and our sons are cousins and genetic brothers - it's confusing'
Identical twins Brittany and Briana have claimed their two children are both cousins and genetic brothers and that people struggle to understand when they explain why the look so alike

Two recently born babies are both cousins and genetic brothers due to an extremely unlikely scenario.

Brittany and Briana Salyers are sisters and both have recently had their first child, Jett and Jax, who are genetic brothers even though they were born months apart and to different mothers.

That's because Brittany and Briana are identical twins, and they married identical twins Josh and Jeremy Salyers - so both couples look exactly alike and share the same genes.

Brittany and Briana shared the baffling story on Instagram, and soon their fans were trying to figure out the unique connection between the babies.

A number of large metro areas have "gun shot sensors". Leave it to a Florida city to install "Odor sensors."

City of Jacksonville installs sensors to figure out source of terrible smells around town

Devices installed in neighborhoods around city designed to determine who, what is responsible for foul odors

So when the Fabulous Mrs. Mis. Hum. and I travel to Sydney, Australia, I guess we won't be dining at this Cheeky Karen restaurant.

A note in front of the popular Bedouin restaurant in Double Bay, Sydney informs its guests of the new rules.

According to the new house policy, customers cannot have "visible tattoos," wear "heavy jewellery" or "designer-labelled apparel".

The eatery's co-licensee Poata Okeroa told The Daily Telegraph: “We value our customers and community stakeholders, and have always implemented house rules that includes a dress policy that discourages intimidating appearances.

The Middle Eastern restaurant was launched three years ago and is run by Poata Okeroa, Eric Jury and Julian Tobias.

I guess I could wear sleeves to cover sleeves. But, not sure about my ink wedding ring.

On this day: 19 Feb 1980
AC/DC singer Bon Scott was pronounced dead on arrival at a London hospital after a heavy night's drinking. Scott was found in the passenger seat of a friend's parked car. The official coroner's report stated that he had "drunk himself to death", after suffocating on his own vomit. via thisdayinmusic.com

Someone has some explaining to do when they pick up their Genius Award.

PLANTATION, Fla. —
A Florida mother was terrified this week when she went to pick up her daughter and found the day care locked up, with the lights off, appearing to be closed.

NBC Miami reports Plantation police were called Wednesday night to KinderCare Learning Center.

Stephanie Martinez tearfully told reporters she was immediately concerned when she got to the building around 6:15 p.m.

"They know I get here around 6, 6:15 because I have to pick up my other son by 6. I get here, everything is shut off. No cars, which is weird," she told WSVN.

Yeah, yeah, he talks big now. Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day.

Kanye West to Boycott YouTube, Spotify, Apple and Amazon With Next Release
The rapper said it was time to “free music from this oppressive system,” with Donda 2 only available on his own platform, the $200 Stem Player

Kanye West says his new album Donda 2 will only be available exclusively on his own platform, the Stem Player.

The US rapper said it was time to “free music from this oppressive system”, citing the small cuts made by artists for their work.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by My Take On Science.

Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. chuckleheads in the building maintenance department.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:00 PM

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