The Morning Rant

"THOSE ARMED WHITE MEN ARE DANGEROUS!" bellowed CNN as the pro-2A demonstrators in Virginia cleaned up the area after their day of protest and went home without anybody getting shot.

"IT'S ALL DONALD TRUMP'S FAULT!" declared Andrew Cuomo as he forced NY nursing homes to accept patients who tested positive for Covid-19.

"WE'RE ANTI-FASCISTS" screamed the Antifa thugs as they vandalized cars, set buildings and businesses on fire, and assaulted random passers-by.

"BECAUSE OF COVID-19, WE NEED TO HAVE A LOCKDOWN!" proclaimed the activists trying to pass themselves off as public health experts.

"MASS PROTESTS ARE TOTES OK!" proclaimed the activists trying to pass themselves off as public health experts.

"ANTI-RACISM MASS PROTESTS? TOTES OK!" proclaimed the activists trying to pass themselves off as public health experts.

"ANTI-LOCKDOWN PROTESTS? NOT OK!" proclaimed the activists trying to pass themselves off as public health experts.

"WE HAVE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR NOW!" thundered Tom Arnold from inside of his guarded and gated mansion.

"BUT I DON'T WANT BUSINESSES TO LEAVE CHICAGO!" squealed the Chicago mayor after she condemned business owners who defended their businesses from looting and only charged most arrested rioters with disorderly conduct.

"THE PROTESTS HAVE BEEN MOSTLY PEACEFUL!" declared the media as the cities burned.

"WHY ARE OUR STREETS FILLED WITH VIOLENCE, RIOTING, AND BAGS OF POO?" cried blue city voters as they continued to elect deep blue mayors, deep blue city managers and deep blue city council members.

Donald Trump refused to say that he’d respect the results of this election. By doing that, he’s threatening our democracy.

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) October 21, 2016

Old, But Still Current:

When mama finds out you're in a terrorist group... 😳

Ant!fa thug getting his mask jerked off by mama pic.twitter.com/dpi8lTLoUc

— ᗰᵉˡ 🌷 (@mel_faith1) August 19, 2019

Progressives Are Really, Really Bad At Math:

Defunding the police does NOT mean cutting the pay of police officers or taking their pensions away.

— Stephanie Ruhle (@SRuhle) June 7, 2020

Compare & Contrast:

What Could Go Wrong?

HELLO, SOME NEWS: Minneapolis is going to disband its police department. This is not a drill. https://t.co/VsxTp1JYVI

— Jay Willis (@jaywillis) June 7, 2020

"Largely Peaceful":

27 police officers injured during largely peaceful anti-racism protests in London https://t.co/vIq1VL1aiT

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) June 7, 2020

Let the Canonization Begin:

Friends and family describe Floyd as a dreamer who wanted desperately to be in the NBA, to make it big, to forge a new life away from poverty and violence. https://t.co/4tUrxNTBJJ pic.twitter.com/1zlhDWXAPd

— Houston Chronicle (@HoustonChron) June 7, 2020

Who Dis:

For the 'Ettes:

Friday's celebs: I went looking for photos of Jon-Erik Hexum after he was mentioned by someone on an earlier rant thread and I immediately thought wow, the 'ettes are going to have a meltdown when they see him. But I had a hard time coming up with a 'who dis' gal to complement him, and the reason is rather tragic. Hexum's career had just started when he was fooling around on set with a gun loaded with blanks. He put it directly to his temple and pulled the trigger. This was a mistake. The wad from the blank came out with enough force that it shattered his temple and shoved the pieces into his brain. Caused so much brain damage that they took him off life support a week later. One of the few things he appeared in with a female co-star was a trashy TV movie from 1983, Making of a Male Model. The co-star was, of course, Joan Collins, who was then in her hot MILF stage. Presumably Hexum's male model character got to canoodle with Collins' MILF character, so there's that.

(h/t 'Mark1971' for the suicide details)

Today's Edition Of The Morning Rant Is Brought To You By Popcorn Shrimp:

Popcorn shrimp recipe here.

posted by OregonMuse at 11:15 AM

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