Sponsored Content
Oh My: Sundown Joe Announces "I'm Ready to Beat Joe Biden" | Main | EMT 05/23/20
May 22, 2020

How To Succeed At ONTing Without Really Trying

Guys, I found out today why we're in this mess:


Silliness aside, lets see what's on the docket tonight.

Good Use Of Federal Power

Click through to get the whole story.

We Have The Freaks!

Hmmm. Lets check with Senator Vreenak:


Yes, it's a fake, apparently these guys do a lot of this kind of stuff, inserting themselves to news stories, and it's an awfully good one. And when they find the burnt remnants of a Cardassian optolythic data rod which somehow miraculously survived the explosion, any imperfections in the forgery will appear to be a result of the explosion.

I can live with it.

(Quick Quiz: guess what my favorite DS9 episode is? Well, it's either that or “The Visitor “)

Tales From The Lockdown Front

The Massive Trump Coronavirus Supply Effort that the Media Loves to Hate Trump is the only person for whom I've ever felt the old punchline is true. If he actually went out and walked on water, the headlines the next day really would be “Trump can't swim”.

‘Relapses Are Through The Roof, Overdoses Are Through The Roof’: How The Pandemic Is Upping Substance Abuse Mark my words: When all of this is said and done, we're going to have lost far more people due to the reaction to the Wuhan flu than from Covid19 itself. By a factor of 5, at least. Probably 10.

‘We Had To Lay Off Our Son’: American Businesses Are Doing Everything It Takes To Survive

And then what happened?

Doing what American entrepreneurship does best: adjusting to changing times and finding a way to thrive. I swear to OG, just once I would like to live in an America that was working properly the way the Founders intended, with minimal government and maximal personal responsibility. I can see why God doesn't allow it, however. People wouldn't want to leave for heaven when they died.

It’s OK to Say It: The Lockdown Was a Catastrophic Error Airquotes “Error”. It's working exactly as designed.

Fight erupts at Michigan Capitol protest

Pika pika.jpg
Protesters who play Pokemon Go had the opportunity to catch a Pikachu that knows Full Auto. It's super effective

The New York Post Publishes Quite An Eclectic Range Of Stories

Video captures wild paint fight at Florida Home Depot If Florida residents are starting to act out, things are worse than we imagined.

NASA scientists detect evidence of parallel universe where time runs backward Lucky bastards. In 30 years they'll be enjoying the 80s.

It's Not What You Do It's How You Do It

America’s most illegal record has been obliterated

The Cannonball Run record is now under 26 hours, New York to LA. That means an average speed of at least 107 MPH the entire way. Incredible.

Oh, and just for the record, The Lamborghini Countach in the opening credits of the movie could have walked away from the cops chasing them in that Firebird.

Ted Cruz As Transmission Fluid

The last one made my laugh.

Tonight's ONT brought to you by American ingenuity:

digg this
posted by WeirdDave at 10:03 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "It's also socialism, when oligarchs accumulate mor ..."

Ciampino -- A million bayonets: "326 I don't have the background to get into a deep ..."

Sebastian Melmoth: "Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at Febru ..."

Skip : "WE HAZ A NOOD ..."

Yudhishthira's Dice: " An AI that has no ability to make value judgment ..."

Duke Lowell : "Howdy, CBD! ..."

Skip : "I'll fetch em ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "Cheap. The French were always very cheap and sough ..."

BurtTC: "Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at February ..."

Archimedes: "[i]So, how do we prove in an absolute sense that s ..."

CN: "The Jewish branch of my family that stayed in Germ ..."

James Varney: "Just finished "Valley of Death," by Ted Morgan. Ba ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64