Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

Saturday Evening Movie Thread 04-18-2020 [Hosted By: Moviegique] | Main | EMT 04/19/20
April 18, 2020

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (4/18/20)

sat ont 41820.jpg


The Saturday Night Joke


30. When I retire, I'm movin' North.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken with a slice of lime.

26. We don't keep no guns in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits, grits, and gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a rip who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too dang big.

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Blue Moon iced down for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate!

6. She's too young to be wearing that bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

4. I don't have a favorite football team.

3. "Youse Guys"

2. Those cutoffs ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.


1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole busload of us down to help in the Joe Biden Campaign.


Do you have 30 minutes for a tour that will blow your car loven mind.


I've attempted to give you a Kung flu free ONT, looks like I failed. But we can practice social distancing with our seasonings.


Most of you regular commenters and lurkers know that I love coffee. How much would you pay for a pound of God;s nectar? $1,000.00 or more? Not me!

As with any luxury product, that’s up to the person laying down the cash. “It’s like a luxury watch — you can have a $3,000 one or a $100,000 one,” Lamastus Jr. says.

In the case of Geisha, the difference between a $30/lb. coffee and a $100/lb. or $1,000/lb. coffee begins with ratings received from a competition such as Best of Panama. “The competition is what starts to pull the market up,” Lamastus, Jr., says. “A $1,000 coffee might just have a slight difference, a point or two in grades, a little bit better, but by winning the competition, that’s what certified it in the market.”


Everything you wanted to about the Ghanaian funeral meme but were afraid to ask.

A new meme format has graced the internet, and its popularity is a signal to the general mood of the world: funereal.

Today, Bernie Sanders suspended his campaign for the to be the Democratic nominee for president. When I hopped in the group DM to commiserate, I knew what I would eventually see: a video of the now presumptive nominee Joe Biden saying something incomprehensible which would then smash cut to a video of Ghanaian pallbearers dancing with a casket, set to the EDM song Astronomia by Tony Igy





Some fantasies should never see the light of day let alone The ONT. Genius Award Winners.

A threesome did not have a happy ending early yesterday when the two male participants got into a bloody fight that landed one of them in a South Carolina jail on multiple criminal charges, court records show.

According to a sheriff’s report, Michael Charles and Michelle Fleming, both 47, share a residence in Duncan, a town in Spartanburg County. Charles told cops he and Fleming are “roommates with benefits,” a characterization that Fleming did not dispute.

Charles said that he invited Brian Alden, 40, to the home to “hang out and possibly have a threesome with him and Fleming.” Fleming told investigators that Charles “had invited Alden over to fulfill a sexual fantasy.”

During a 2:45 AM interview with sheriff’s deputies, Charles said that after the trio had sex, “things began to feel odd with Alden,” so he asked his guest to leave. Alden departed the home, but subsequently demanded to be let back in. Fleming, he said, told him to allow Alden to return to the residence.


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by the Mentally Challenged.

funny_memes_16 4 18 20.jpg

Notice: Posted with permission granted exclusively by the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. Do not accept any imitations.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:00 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
jim (in Kalifornia): "13 The FBI just got a brand new building. I don't ..."

CWrayzie[/i][/i][/i][/b][/b][/b][/s][/s][/s][/u][/u][/u]: "Some of our Christmas and Easter Catholics oppress ..."

GOP Caucus: "The Criminal Christopher Wray Asks Congress to Ren ..."

FeatherBlade: ""Wray testified that stripping the FBI of its 702 ..."

Blake - semi lurker at large: "The FBI just got a brand new building. I don't car ..."

Xipe Totec: "I repeat; Dissolve the alphabet agencies. Too corr ..."

jim (in Kalifornia): "[i]So how many people were fired for targeting Cat ..."

fd: ""We have to be very careful about what we can say, ..."

Axeman: "Yeah, that a reading the post cost me #1. Congrats ..."

Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) [/b][/i][/s][/u]: " This is easy, GOP: a firm and unanimous "NO". ..."

It's me donna : "I like Daniels ..."

AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna: "[i]"It makes perfect sense that liberal Democrat b ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64