Saturday Overnight Open Thread (12/28/19)

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it!

If you like puzzles, you'll enjoy this.

Family members not happy that Jesus was in the will. The bequest of Ernest Digweed

Ernest Digweed was a retired schoolteacher from Portsmouth. When he died in 1976, he left behind approximately $44,000, with instructions that the money should go to Jesus Christ, if Christ should return to Earth in the next 80 years. Apparently Digweed was worried that Christ might be a bit short of cash when he came back.

Several people promptly came forward, claiming they were Christ, but they were turned away. Digweed's relatives, meanwhile, weren't happy at all with the will and sued to get the money. Eventually, it seems, the courts did agree to give it to them, but with one condition. The family had to take out an insurance policy that would pay back the money, should the original benefactor (Jesus) make an appearance. So if Jesus should return by 2056, he still has some money coming his way.

Mrs. Mis Hum and I were happy to see the kids all make it home for Christmas. I'm happy to say that this little bastard isn't related to me.

The Cringetopia sub on Reddit had a field day roasting a 22-year-old-man who went online to talk smack about his family for the underwhelming amount of Christmas gifts they gave him.

Whenever I meet adults who are basically overgrown children, I'm a bit conflicted as to who to put the blame on. Surely, their parents/guardians/environment played a huge role in how they ended up the way that they did.

But then again, if you're a grown-ass individual, there are plenty of examples of how one should behave freely available pretty much everywhere. Books, TV shows, movies all provide prime archetypes for what's considered socially acceptable behavior, and on the flip side, what sort of manners are reviled and deemed reprehensible.

Sadly, this dude didn't make those distinctions after all his years on earth.

Do you have a drug conviction? Would you fail a drug test? Here's the job for you.

PORTLAND, OR—A hip new coffee shop has opened up in Portland’s Pearl District. Unikorn Coffee is looking to fill five part-time barista positions by next Thursday.

There’s a catch, though — you must fail a drug test to be considered for the job.

In what has been seen as a slap in the face to President Trump and his plan to drug test some food stamp recipients, Unikorn Coffee promises to make drug test failure a central virtue within the hiring process.

“The more drugs in your system,” says owner Raffiki Dystonia, “the better chance you have of me hiring you. So come on down and apply today. I don’t care what kind of drugs you are into. Heck, I promise, if anyone tests positive for all ten drugs on my test, I’ll hire you on the spot, no questions asked.”

This guy is a hell of a guy.

We are still in the midst of the Holiday Season. You can try some holiday drinks from around the world.

Leaves. Boat. Neighbor, some assembly required.

Born on this day: 28 December 1946 - Edgar Winter
Edgar Winter, Edgar Winter Group, keyboards, vocals, (1973 US No.1 & UK No.18 single 'Frankenstein'). via thisdayinmusic.com

The good old May - December relationship. Complete with arrest warrants.

Looks like the honeymoon is over for a Florida businessman and his new wife—because, per the AP, it looks like the young bride tried to swindle her elderly spouse. The Tampa Bay Times has the full story on the arrest of 26-year-old Lin Helena Halfon, who, per court records, showed up at a Tampa Amscot in early November and tried to cash a $1 million cashier's check that had her name on it, as well as the name of her 77-year-old husband, Richard Rappaport, whom she'd just married in August. Amscot staff wouldn't cash the check without Rappaport present, nor three other checks for $333,333 each that Halfon came back with later that day, per a warrant affidavit. At that point, an Amscot worker got suspicious and called authorities

Get a room. And not the women's restroom. Genius Award Winners.

-After they were discovered having sex inside the women’s bathroom at a beachside bar, a 62-year-old woman and her 60-year-old male companion tussled with Florida cops who tried to arrest the tipsy duo, according to court records.

Police were called early Sunday morning to Jimmy B’s Beach Bar when workers at the St. Pete Beach nightclub found Debra Vogt and George O’Brien “having sexual intercourse in the female’s bathroom.”

According to an arrest affidavit, “numerous subjects complained about the couple being in the restroom and complained to security staff,” who notified police around 12:30 AM. A sheriff’s deputy reported that Vogt and O’Brien “were heavily intoxicated and denied the allegation.”

When asked by security to leave the bar, the couple refused, cops say. When questioned by a deputy, Vogt and O’Brien initially declined to identify themselves or provide any means of identification. The duo also allegedly resisted arrest.

Normally on Saturday night we don't feature Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day. This is too good to pass up tonight.

The story of a United States Marine injured in combat in Iraq, who finally found the help he needed to learn how to walk again, is lighting up the internet with its message of triumph over adversity.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Ingenuity.

Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. No more credit at the liquor store.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:57 PM

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