Prince Andrew: I Have the Perfect Alibi to Claims I Had Sex with Underage Childslave Virginia Giuffre.
See, I Was At a... Pizza Restaurant.

This claim is so odd that people speculate that the English royal family has decided to be tricky and try to get the media to protect Andrew by stirring up #PizzaGate conspiracy theories -- given how scandalized the leftwing media was over PizzaGate, maybe they'll rush to Andrew's defense if enough people say "Pizza party? PizzaGate!"

That sounds a little too cute to me, but what do I know -- I used to think the people running things were halfway intelligent, but it turns out they're largely morons. Maybe they're stupid enough to try this too-clever-by-half play.

An article in The Atlantic pointed out that his "I couldn't have been at that party with her, I remember having gone to a pizza restaurant in Wolking" makes no sense and is no alibi, because that restaurant is less than an hour from the site of the party -- he could have gone to the pizza restaurant before or after the party, and his story would be true... but irrelevant. Same as claiming your alibi is that you were in a different city the day before a murder happened.

Thanks for the detail, but... that's not an alibi.

Andrew offered the following additional proofs of innocence:

Regarding the picture showing him with his arm around the waist of an underage Virginia Giuffree, nee Roberts, Andrew claims, "No one has yet proved whether that photo is genuine or has been doctored."

So... no one says it was doctored, and you claim no one has proven it is real or fake?

A strange proof that the photo is not real is that he asserts that when in London (the photo, I guess, was taken in London), he wears a "suit and tie," and this photo shows him wearing what he calls his "travelling clothes," therefore... um.... this could not possibly be him.

His proof of innocence is that he literally never takes off his suit jacket and wears a button-down dress shirt while in London. Only when travelling abroad does he wear such rugged, rude peasant garb.

What?

But his proofs go further. As to Giuffre's claim that he "sweated profusely" when dancing with her at a club, he says that that couldn't be true, because... at the time, but not now, he had a strange condition that caused him not to sweat at all.

He is very stuttery and stumbly about when this alleged condition afflicted him. He seems to emphasize that he did not sweat at that time. I imagine he says this because he sweats now, and he doesn't want his offer of proof rejected upon anyone seeing him sweat.

The New York Post dubbed him "His Royal Dryness."

He also claimed he would never "really party" nor engage in PDAs as seen in the photo.

And yet, Daily Mail points out video from 2007 showing him partying with young women on the French Riviera, engaging in some light PDA, and looking a bit... sweaty.

Oh, and one PDA? A young woman is photographed licking his face, which I think counts as a PDA.

Newly-revealed video shows Prince Andrew at raucous pool party on the French Riviera in July 2008

Pictures from other events also show him enjoying attention of beautiful women including one licking his face

Andrew's public role in danger after 'car crash' BBC interview where he discussed relationship with Epstein

Denied he met Virginia Roberts - let alone had sex with her - and hinted photo of them together could be fake

Duke said he 'never really partied', avoided 'public affection' and Falklands battles left him unable to sweat

But photos and video from French parties show him gripping several women and looking decidedly sweaty

2.5m people watched BBC interview described as 'Not so much a car crash but an articulated lorry crash'

When asked why he stayed in Jeffrey Epstein's place even after Epstein had copped a plea in a sex-slave case, he says he went there to tell Epstein that he could no longer be pals with him. I guess he stayed at his place to... I don't know, give Epstein some final Friendship Time?

When asked what caused him to associate himself with such a seedy individual as Epstein -- guilty of corrupting underage girls, and innocent of suicide -- Andrew stated that he was "too honourable." That's his flaw -- he was too honourable. I imagine he means he was too honourable to even suspect such tawdry, lower-class-type crimes were going on all around him.

The press reaction was generally bad though I'm sure the press will start defending him once the royal family threatens to withhold interviews with Megan Markle.

Some video below.

The full interview is here.

posted by Ace of Spades at 06:16 PM

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