The Morning Rant

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, Brian Stelter wouldn't have one, either.¹

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, Donald Trump would not be president.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, they would not be constantly climbing into bed and steaming up the sheets with Democrats and progressives to help them promote their causes.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, the Democratic Party would no longer be a national party.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, the Deep State-orchestrated coup against a sitting president would've been covered, not buried².

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, Melania Trump's photos would grace the covers of many news and fashion magazines.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, reporters would actually be disciplined or even fired for totally botching up a story.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, they'd concentrate more on getting stories right than giving awards to themselves.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, J-school students would be taught that their job is to report the facts, not change the world.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, Americans wouldn't hold journalists in such contempt, even lower than TV evangelists and used-car salesmen.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, they'd never have acquired reputations as cut-rate hacks, lying propagandists, and shills for the progressive agenda.

"If the mainstream media were doing its job, there would not be such a huge gap between who they think they are and who they really are."

¹There are countless media talking heads we can say this about, but I chose Stelter because he's the most cluelessly unself-aware insufferable jackass of the bunch. I mean, seriously, whose salad did he have to toss to get his CNN gig?

²There are countless stories we can say this about, but I chose this one because it's the biggest. In fact, I think history will eventually record that this is the biggest unreported story of the decade, if not the century.

I Can't Get Enough of These Pence/Race Bannon Memes:

Union Seminary Doubles Down On Stupid:

We've had many questions about yesterday's chapel, conducted as part of @ccarvalhaes' class, "Extractivism: A Ritual/Liturgical Response." In worship, our community confessed the harm we've done to plants, speaking directly in repentance.

This is a beautiful ritual. /1

— Union Seminary (@UnionSeminary) September 18, 2019

When Doubling Down On Stupid Doesn't Work:

Disaster At Union Seminary As Giant, Angry Carnivorous Plant Does Not Accept Students' Apologieshttps://t.co/WmYvqbL6xV

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) September 19, 2019

Who Dis:

For the 'Ettes:

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Friday's celebs: Helena Bonham Carter and Richard Armitage. They both had parts in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016).

Nobody explictly guessed at the "meta-theme" I was running last week. However, Jordan61 had the right idea:

44 Forgot you were on a Hobbit kick this week!

Posted by: Jordan61 at September 20, 2019 11:23 AM (PgV21)

This is close enough for full credit. What I had in mind was the male celebs from last week, Dean O'Gorman, Aidan Turner, and Richard Armitage, all played dwarves in Peter Jackson's Hobbit films: Fili, Kili, and Thorin Oakenshield, respectively.

By the way, Mrs. Muse and I are watching Aidan Turner in the Poldark reboot on Amazon Prime. The backstory is that Ross Poldark (Turner), an officer in the British Army has come home to his family estate in Cornwall after fighting in the American Revolution for several years, only to find his father dead, his girlfriend married to his cousin, and his lands and estate in serious neglect. So he's got to build his life and fortunes back up again. It's a good series (so far -- we're part-way through the first season) and we recommend it.

Today's Edition Of The Morning Rant Is Brought To You By Bacon Pancakes With Maple Syrup:

posted by OregonMuse at 11:24 AM

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