The Fault, Dear Brutus, Is Not In Our Stars/ But In Our ONT

Friday night! Have you figured out a way to make money while you sleep?

Surely You Can't Be Serious

Every Joke from ‘Airplane!’ Ranked

This was linked on last night's ONT by Chuck C. I can hear or see every one of these in my head as I'm reading them.

A game that was proposed on last night's ONT, but didn't get a whole lot of play: In your opinion, what's the funniest line movie line ever? I'll start, not with a line but a scene.

Nothing in Common. Jackie Gleason's last movie, starring Tom Hanks. Hanks is a young ad executive whose parents (Gleason and Eva Marie Saint) get divorced after a long marriage. Both of them suddenly start depending on him to get settled into separate lives, putting a crimp into his free-wheeling-successful-20-something lifestyle. There's a scene where he's filming a commercial and a cat is brought into the scene. I haven't seen the movie since 1986 when I screened it after putting the print together (I was working as a projectionist at the time), but I remember literally (literally literally, not Joe Biden literally) falling out of my seat in the empty theater laughing at his meltdown. I don't know if the scene holds up, I can't find it on YouTube, but that may be the hardest I've ever laughed at a movie.

Public Service Announcement

I have no idea. Absolutely none. It has the look of a cheesy 80s PSA from some Christian youth group, but the language argues against that, so....you got me.

Flying High

A drunk United attendant slurred a safety announcement then passed out during the flight

There's film out there. Should be easy to find, but I haven't got time tonight.

Hardcore

Fuckin' metal, man! pic.twitter.com/m6attBcZZc

— Dave's Not Here (@Weirddave0) August 17, 2019

Juggalos? I dunno, there's no sound (pity, the “bonk” was probably epic) but the guy with the keg is wearing a clown mask.

These Crossovers Are Getting Out Of Hand

Marvel Helmets For Every NFL Team

These are very well done artistically, although they're missing 3 teams.

Science!

High-speed camera shows incoming particles cause damage by briefly melting surfaces as they strike

Fascinating to me that we're still learning how something like micro-abrasion works, even though we've been using the process for decades.

An Instagram Love Story In 4 Acts

Fido Friday

More here: 14 Of The Funniest Pet Fails

Disney Divorce

“So, Mr. Mouse, you're seeking a divorce from Miss Mouse on the grounds of mental incompetence?”

“No your honor. I want a divorce because Minnie is fucking Goofy”

Tonight's ONT brought to you by Tweets from WWI:

posted by WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

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