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January 11, 2019

Gloomy ONT

Usually I have a theme or a hook or something in mind for the ONT, but tonight I got nothin', so this one's going to be all over the place like a prehensile colon*. Here, go buy something while I get the links together.

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*Turns out the theme is "things suck", at least for the first half of the ONT


Dreamers


Police: 'MS-13 associate' pays gang $100 to have sex with trafficked 14-year-old girl


Obviously this guy is the next Einstein or Bach, and we need him in our country. But hey, who are we to point fingers? It ain't like we're not embracing our own homegrown perverts.


You don't even want to see the picture below that one in the thread. Besides, we need to learn from cultures that weren't started by cis-het white bigots, right? Ancient cultures that far predate the horrors of US imperialism.


You really, really don't want to watch this clip on YouTube. I'm not even going to embed it.


Don't Worry, Be Happy

It'll all be better when we're more like our enlightened European brethren. She Was Getting Treatment for Depression But Otherwise in Good Health. Doctors Euthanized Her I mean, 64 is about at the end of a human's useful life to the state, anyway. After that we're just pensions and healthcare and a drain on resources. It's just a little pin prick and they'll be no more AHHHHHRGH, right?


Wait, did I say Europe? Hell, all we have to do is look north.


Did I say look to the north? Hell, look right here. People Can't Flee These US Cities Fast Enough. Then there's this bit of back-to-the-1970s-future. Bystanders spit at, throw soda on, a group of soldiers waiting for a bus.

Gah, I should avoid the news, it's bad for my mental health. Question: What's better, knowing what's going on, or the bliss of ignorance?

That Dog Do Hunt

FORMER LSU OFFENSIVE LINEMAN MATT BRANCH LOSES LEG AFTER BEING SHOT BY A DOG

Truly an accident, but, well, exhibit A as to why you shouldn't toss loaded guns into the bed of a pickup.

This Is Funny

Confused barber shaves ‘play button’ into customer’s hair after he pauses video showing the cut he wanted


play button.jpg


It's a Different World

Watch 2 adorably clueless teens, 17, baffled by a rotary phone
It took them 4 minutes to figure it out. Speaking of outdated references, the Canoe-head singing the Star Spangled Banner before the Flames/Panthers game tonight sang it like he had a stomach flu and needed to use the can right now. My thought was “Holy cow, this guy sounds like an LP played at 78”. How many 17 year olds would get that reference? He was a little better on Oh Canada, sounded like someone had turned the speed down to 45.


Lets Close With Some Feel Good Stories

Rob Lowe on Dancing With Snow White and Getting the Last Laugh Back in the 80s, Lowe didn't seem to be much more than just another airhead member of the Brat Pack, destined for obscurity. Since he got clean, however, he's shown a marked level of substance. I like him.

Clemson's Trevor Lawrence delays title celebration to share touching moment with fan. This kid's going to be a superstar.

Prison fight kills sex ring leader, hurts 2nd defendant. I am crushed at the failure of our prison system to adequately protect its charges. Absolutely crushed.

Arizona resident shoots four burglars, killing one


Tonight's ONT brought to you by the end of the innocence:

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posted by WeirdDave at 09:51 PM

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