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August 20, 2018

Unapologetic Racist and Asian Supremacist Sarah Jeong's New, Improved Twitter Feed: Sunrises, Butterflies, and Rainbows Are Pretty

Sarah Jeong, no doubt under strict corporate direction, is mounting a Bland Offensive, by deliberately tweeting only links or stuff like...


So... the New York Times' new editorial board member cannot be trusted to share her actual editorial opinions publicly.

Top Ten Corporate-Directed Sarah Jeong Tweets

10. Two groups in America just don't get enough credit -- mothers, and eagles. Even the white-faced ones. Nay -- *especially* the white-faced ones.

9. Here's my unpopular opinion: Spats were a mistake whose time has gone. Unless more than 20% of you are pro-spat. In which case, people's individual senses of fashion should not be used to make sport of them. #WearWhatYouLove

8. I may get grief for this, but there's just nothing like mulled cider on a crisp autumn night, after a full day of washing the feet of the impoverished. Including poor white people, who I am informed also struggle in this wonderful country of dreams and possibility.

7. They say "Never Meet Your Heroes." Well, I think they're wrong. I met my Heroes the other day and they filled me with inspiration. And who are my heroes? *The Troops.* Fight me if you disagree.

6. Wal*Mart is underrated. Quality merchandise for very fair prices. The staff is lovely and the clientele? *Incomparable.*

5. This may get me in trouble with the Language Police, but all I can say about Aretha Franklin is this: Now that's one classy lady. She will be missed. She was a national treasure of her race -- the human race.

4. I'm going to break with a 35 year tradition and dye my hair to its natural color (if I can remember it) as a show of solidarity with Jerry's Kids.

3. If I could have dinner with any two people in history, I would dine with Jesus of Nazareth and Randy "The Macho Man" Savage. Who is white. And that's okay with me. In fact it's more than okay -- it's a delight.

2. When I see a baby's smile, I feel like that baby is smiling because he knows a joyous secret, and that secret is that life is good and worth living. #RealTalk #TimeForHonesty #SomeoneHadToSayIt

...and the number one new Sarah Jeong tweet...

1. Hall and Oates. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Joan Jett. David Bowie. Hanson. What do these legends have in common? They're all white. And that's just great. God must really love white people because he filled my upper-class gentrified neighborhood with so many of them. Also, some Indian doctors. Who are also great. In fact, who even sees color? I sure don't.

[Next tweet:] Wait, was Oates technically white? Well either way. Hall is white enough for the both of them.

[Next tweet:] And that's just great.

Update: This might explain a few things.





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posted by Ace of Spades at 05:16 PM

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