Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

NoVaMoMe 2024: 06/08/2024
Arlington, VA
Registration Is Open!

Texas MoMe 2024: 10/18/2024-10/19/2024 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info

« FaceBook to Banks: Say, Why Don't You Give Us The Checking Account Balances for Your Clients on FaceBook? | Main | Brief Update On a New (Get This!) Reference from the Unfunny Flopsweat Artiste Jonah Goldberg »
August 08, 2018

The Unfunny Musings of the Unfunny Jonah Goldberg: A New Occasional Series

All just from the past two days.


References are not the same as humor or wit, Jonah. So, you know Twain's quote, "The coldest winter I ever spent was the a summer in San Francisco." Congrats. All college freshmen know this quote.

Two references in this one. Do you get it? No but like: Do you get it? He's using words other people have used and that's funny because Memory Tickles.

Another reference. Swamp Thing. Because "Swamp."

Do you get it? Do you 'member?

Do you like when people make you 'member some feelz?

This one's a threefer. One, it's a grumbleflaunt, where he complains about Steven Colbert having made him the butt of a joke, but the real message is "I'm important enough that Steven Colbert made me the butt of a joke."

Two, it's a reference. We know how much Couch McStarTrek loves references.

Three, it's specifically a reference to a 2009 meme about whether Hot Dogs Are Sandwiches, which is a cyberflirting-with-other-heavyset-male-twitter-addicts Fake Argument "Humor" bit he's been doing for a while.

This may shock you, but here's another reference.

Do you get it? Do you remember 1975?

Another reference. Do you guys remember 1976? Or 1895, or whenever the original book was published?

References are funny because they're things you know other people said and so you're all like "Wait a minute, you didn't say that, some other person said it!" and that's funny because that's just crazy that two different people would say the same thing.

Like "Jinx, buy me a coke!"

Do you 'member that? It's fun to 'member things.

Here's some more cyberflirting, this time with the archliberal Dave Wiegel.

Here's more of that gayballz flirting with men about a contrived fake argument about pizza:

This seems to be a reference to a 2011 meme which wasn't very funny when Charlie Sheen was using it:

Ninjas are still a meme, right? I mean, they were a meme in 2007 when we all knew 1, Ninjas are awesome, 2, Ninjas are totally sweet, and 3, Ninjas just go crazy and kill everybody.

I don't know what this one is. It seems to yet another contrived play-fight to cyberflirt, combined with a reference.

More of the Hot Dog Isn't a Sandwich Fake-Fight, and therefore more cyberflirting with men.


Do you guys remember 1988? Because Jonah Goldberg totally remembers 1988.

Hey, you're not gonna believe this, but this one is 1, a Reference, and 2, a callback to an old, tired meme from 2012. And I think I have some authority to say this is an old, tired meme from 2012, because it originated on this very site (thanks to Slublog and LauraW, if I remember right).

By the way: No disrespect intended to Slublog or LauraW. It was very funny in 2012. And then in 2013, and 2014 too. A bit.

But now six years later? It's kind of losing the freshness and invention it once had.

This next one isn't a reference, I don't think. It's just not funny.

Here, Jonah Goldberg tells Rudy Giuliani he "missed the joke" of saying that Rudy is smoking like a fiend worrying about Trump's next tweet.

I think we all missed that joke, Johah.

You should have just done a nice reference.

Oh wait: You did that too:

All these failed jokes and not-even-jokes cutesy-pie references and cyberflirts were collected from just the last 48 hours. I'm not even including all the dog stuff or the stupid repetition of Stock Twitter Phrases like "Shots fired" or "What could go wrong?"

I'll stop here. I've punished you enough.

If anyone really wants to send my blood pressure spiking, an easy way to do so is to say, "I like Jonah Goldberg, he's the funny conservative."

digg this
posted by Ace of Spades at 04:52 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Polliwog the 'Ette: "One of the villages in Skyrim looks like it was mo ..."

JT: "I'm finally awake for an ONT and it ain't here ! ..."

Dr. Claw: "63 The headless prank dude is a lot of fun. I l ..."

Kindltot: "[i]Or is there someone out there just aching to be ..."

Charlie "Miklos" Rich, redneck as redneck can git: "Behind closed doors, the leaders of the world wish ..."

Braenyard: "==== Behind closed doors, the leaders of the worl ..."

JackStraw: ">>Well that's a different one. He must get the hoc ..."

John Drake Nearing the Caspian Sea: "Police tear gas pro-gaza protesters USF Tampa: ..."

exdem13: "135 >>Saw part of the Rangers playoff game last ni ..."

Ciampino - Egyptian Army got new boots?!: "Tonight New T-Zero: Liftoff is targeted 10:45 p.m. ..."

Lil' Miklos claps little hands: "Howdy Hordelings! Posted by: Doof It's Happy D ..."

tcn in AK, Hail to the Thief: "111 Police tear gas pro-gaza protesters USF Tampa: ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64