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August 08, 2018

The Unfunny Musings of the Unfunny Jonah Goldberg: A New Occasional Series

All just from the past two days.


References are not the same as humor or wit, Jonah. So, you know Twain's quote, "The coldest winter I ever spent was the a summer in San Francisco." Congrats. All college freshmen know this quote.

Two references in this one. Do you get it? No but like: Do you get it? He's using words other people have used and that's funny because Memory Tickles.

Another reference. Swamp Thing. Because "Swamp."

Do you get it? Do you 'member?

Do you like when people make you 'member some feelz?

This one's a threefer. One, it's a grumbleflaunt, where he complains about Steven Colbert having made him the butt of a joke, but the real message is "I'm important enough that Steven Colbert made me the butt of a joke."

Two, it's a reference. We know how much Couch McStarTrek loves references.

Three, it's specifically a reference to a 2009 meme about whether Hot Dogs Are Sandwiches, which is a cyberflirting-with-other-heavyset-male-twitter-addicts Fake Argument "Humor" bit he's been doing for a while.

This may shock you, but here's another reference.

Do you get it? Do you remember 1975?

Another reference. Do you guys remember 1976? Or 1895, or whenever the original book was published?

References are funny because they're things you know other people said and so you're all like "Wait a minute, you didn't say that, some other person said it!" and that's funny because that's just crazy that two different people would say the same thing.

Like "Jinx, buy me a coke!"

Do you 'member that? It's fun to 'member things.

Here's some more cyberflirting, this time with the archliberal Dave Wiegel.

Here's more of that gayballz flirting with men about a contrived fake argument about pizza:

This seems to be a reference to a 2011 meme which wasn't very funny when Charlie Sheen was using it:

Ninjas are still a meme, right? I mean, they were a meme in 2007 when we all knew 1, Ninjas are awesome, 2, Ninjas are totally sweet, and 3, Ninjas just go crazy and kill everybody.

I don't know what this one is. It seems to yet another contrived play-fight to cyberflirt, combined with a reference.

More of the Hot Dog Isn't a Sandwich Fake-Fight, and therefore more cyberflirting with men.


Do you guys remember 1988? Because Jonah Goldberg totally remembers 1988.

Hey, you're not gonna believe this, but this one is 1, a Reference, and 2, a callback to an old, tired meme from 2012. And I think I have some authority to say this is an old, tired meme from 2012, because it originated on this very site (thanks to Slublog and LauraW, if I remember right).

By the way: No disrespect intended to Slublog or LauraW. It was very funny in 2012. And then in 2013, and 2014 too. A bit.

But now six years later? It's kind of losing the freshness and invention it once had.

This next one isn't a reference, I don't think. It's just not funny.

Here, Jonah Goldberg tells Rudy Giuliani he "missed the joke" of saying that Rudy is smoking like a fiend worrying about Trump's next tweet.

I think we all missed that joke, Johah.

You should have just done a nice reference.

Oh wait: You did that too:

All these failed jokes and not-even-jokes cutesy-pie references and cyberflirts were collected from just the last 48 hours. I'm not even including all the dog stuff or the stupid repetition of Stock Twitter Phrases like "Shots fired" or "What could go wrong?"

I'll stop here. I've punished you enough.

If anyone really wants to send my blood pressure spiking, an easy way to do so is to say, "I like Jonah Goldberg, he's the funny conservative."

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posted by Ace of Spades at 04:52 PM

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