Cops Raid #FakeNews Clickbait Webzine Newsweek? | Main | Yesterday, CNN Opened a Whole New Field of #FakeNews: Fake Remote Medical Diagnosis
January 18, 2018

Apple Says It Will Repatriate $250 Billion to US in Next Five Years, Add 20,000 Jobs in the US

Actually, they say they'll be "contributing" $350 billion ($100 billion more than the $250 billion they have in foreign accounts) to America. They might be talking about another $100 billion in capital investments in the US, plus the impact of adding 20,000 jobs. They might also be contemplating direct donations to charitable causes or starting their own charitable foundation, as some companies have done in the wake of tax reform.

Not sure how they come to that particular $350 billion figure.

But anyway, they're bringing practically all their offshore money into the US, and will wind up paying $38 billion in taxes (to America) for that privilege.



Preview of the media headlines:

Thousands of Americans Feared Dead Under Avalanche of Cash Money

Grotesque Orange Tyrant "Makes It Rain" On Heads of Minority Schoolchildren

Dr. Sanjay Gupta Reviews Trump's Medical Records and Concludes, "What a Fag"


digg this
posted by Ace at 03:10 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
All Hail Eris, Literate Savage: "Dear future anthropologists: I'm so sorry. We had ..."

bluebell: "This formula is fairly long-lasting and not drying ..."

washrivergal: " That's the way I am. I've been on the roof of a ..."

hogmartin: "[i]My late kitty Claws would do that head-grooming ..."

Zombie Cat: "363 ok now there is gnawing please stop you weirdo ..."

All Hail Eris, Literate Savage: "I'll try it - it sounds pretty. So it doesn't make ..."

bluebell: "One of each lip! Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevar ..."

Pound Me Too: "Brush your cat's tongue with Crest. ..."

rickl: "[i]322 BUT, put him on a flat roof outside, just ..."

hogmartin: "[i]A gash back there that you are not aware of? P ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "ok now there is gnawing please stop you weirdo cat ..."

Soothsayer SLX Pro Series II Platinum Turbo: " TV is always on. Helps me think, or not think. ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64