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The Morning Rant: J.V. Edition

If another male chimp tries to kiss me I throw poo at him. Maybe those bonobos in the next cage do that shit, but not us!

New study finds straight men in 'bromances' often kiss and cuddle

A new study, published in Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, asked a series of in-depth questions to 30 British undergraduate sport students to try and discover what straight men really get up to with their best friends.

The results were surprising, and suggested that when behind closed doors, heterosexual men don't let masculinity get in the way of forming close bonds.

Really? Because behind closed doors the men I know are pretty much the same as when the doors are open, except that they fart more and curse a bit more and say things like, "Wow...what a rack on that waitress!"

Even more interestingly, all but one of the men asked said that they regularly engaged in "non-sexual physical intimacy," such as kissing, cuddling, and spooning with their best friend.

Yeah...that's called "being gay." In fact it's sort of the definition of being gay, having a romantic connection with a member of the same sex. And kissing and cuddling and spooning is a pretty basic signal of a romantic connection.

But let's back up a bit and look at the massive study that they use to bolster their bullshit normalization of homosexual behavior. It has 30 subjects. And it was a written survey. For all we know it was from a single class, and a bunch of dudes got together and decided to screw with the idiotic research associate who asked them to do a survey on their "bromances." Or maybe this is actually the way British men act, which would explain a lot. And let us not forget where it was published:

"Sex Roles: A Journal of Research" is an interdisciplinary behavioral science journal offering a feminist perspective. It publishes original research reports and review articles that illuminate the underlying processes and consequences of gender role socialization, gendered perceptions and behaviors, and gender stereotypes.

Well that makes it much better. I always take more seriously the suggestion that I am gay when it comes from a feminist perspective. But I am open to the suggestion that "bromances" are real. So here's some homework for all of the men in the audience. Go cuddle and spoon and kiss (non-sexually of course) with your best man friend. Then tell us how it went. In fact, I'll bet that just imagining it will be a fairly good test of the theory.

I'll take the responses in the comments.

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Political ads are gonna be too lit in 2018 pic.twitter.com/ipOTQq40US

— Eric Hartmane (@erichartmane) November 29, 2017

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For instance, I've calibrated Matt Lauer at 750 Mw

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 29, 2017