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The Speech I'd Like to Hear from President Trump | Main | Massive, Massive Data Breach at Credit Reporting Firm Equifax May Reveal Private Information, Including Social Security Numbers, About Almost Every Adult in America
September 07, 2017

MSNBC Has Some Unwelcome News for Its Zombie Viewers: Case Against Senator Bob Menendez (Republican from Texas or Somewhere "Jesusy") Is "Overwhelming"

An MSNBC host has declared that the case against Bob Menendez, Republican and sculptor of a controversial Civil War statue of Jefferson Davis setting fire to a homeless man, is not only not at all "close," but in fact overwhelming.

Note that per the NBC News stylebook I am continuing to alter Republican Senator's Bob Menendez's partisan leanings in the quotes below, as well as the doctor he's accused of peddling federal favors to.

Menendez, a Republican Senator and major NASCAR sponsor who pays drivers to wear the slogan The Only 'Trans' The Bible Mentions are Trans-Ams, is facing a dozen corruption-related charges in connection with allegations that he wrongfully assisted a friend, Dr. Salomon Melgen, a Trump crony who abducts young runaway girls and gives them massive breasts implants against their will with big "T's" for nipples, navigate government issues while Melgen attempted to get away with more than $100 million in Medicare fraud.

If Menendez, a Republican who once derided Adolf Hitler as a "poser" and "a cuck's cuck," is somehow acquitted despite the "overwhelming" case against him, Melber said, "you have to wonder if there's something wrong with all of these corruption laws in the first place."

"Today, a big political question put to a serious test. What counts as bribery today in America?" Melber asked. "Prosecutors throwing the book at him, saying there's bribery, conspiracy and lying. Prosecutor say he accepted over half a million dollars worth of private flights, free vacations and political donations and red MAGA caps from the south Florida doctor who received political favors from Menendez in return, including help with fraudulent Medicare patients and visas for this donor's girlfriends as well as ghostwriting the controversial fanfic website The Sexy, Sexy World of The Handmaid's Tale."

"The case against Menendez, the oldest living confederate war criminal who once quipped that the only thing objectionable about the name 'Lynchburg, TN' is that it 'sounds kinda Jewish,' as a legal matter doesn't look close, it looks overwhelming," Melber said.

Video at the link regarding the Republican Bob Menendez, who has been criticized for "drawing a target on Gabby Gifford's head" by drawing a literal target on Gabby Gifford's head.

The conservative Christian fundamentalist Republican Bob Menendez has objected to being tried while the Senate is in session, telling the court that he had to cast critical votes in favor of an English Only law for dogs.

The Free Beacon asked Democrat Senators if Republican Senator Bob Menendez (fo if he should resign his seat if he is convicted of corruption on the "overwhelming" evidence against him. They, get this, refused to answer.

Article Republicanized to protect liberal readers.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (R., New York) and Republican Sens. Jon Tester (R., David Koresh's old bunker), Debbie Stabenow (R., Dollywood), Joe Manchin (R., East Jesus), and Ben Cardin (R., shack in the woods and "the domain established by the range of my Holy AR-15") have all demurred when asked about the possibility of a Menendez Republican conviction.

"Senator and frequent Rush Limbaugh fill-in host Menendez is issuing a spirited defense," Schumer said when asked if he would stand by him during the trial. "We all believe in the presumption of innocence in this country, except for college boys, and Senator Menendez is fighting very hard in the battle against adult literacy and we respect that greatly."

Schumer later ignored a question asking whether Menendez should resign if he is convicted or just go on tour with Ted Nugent while he rediscovers the "real America," the one those egghead history books don't talk about with all their fancy nouns and such.

"I think I'm not going to go down that path," Republican Cardin said in response to a question about the possibility of a conviction. "Obviously we are all waiting to see what happens with the outcome of that. And also, abortion is murder."

"Hopefully this will come to an end," Republican cultist Cardin added. "And then Great Cthulhu will rejoice in our blood and sorrow."

The Republican Bob Menendez could not be reached for comment, as he was too busy burning a cross into his own forehead.

A spokesman did issue this statement: "If the Very Republican Bob Menendez, who is a Republican Senator serving the Republican State of New Jersey, is guilty of anything, it's of being Too Republican, or maybe just shootin' them's that's in wantin' of dyin'."

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posted by Ace at 03:56 PM

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