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August 04, 2017

The Day in Stupid News

A New York Times sissyboy tinkles herself when xhe misunderstands Danal Loesch to be threatening to "fist" reporters like xim.

She didn't say "fist," of course.

She said "fisk," as in rebut an article with a snarky talk-back analysis.

Interesting that's right where xhis mind went, though.

Just like the Boston Globe had to link Trump to the path of the moon's shadow during the upcoming eclipse, now Rolling Stone has to link the uptick in nervous-wreck miserable progressive Monster Babies to the uptick in the need of the spooning services of "Professional Cuddlers," or cuddlists.

Per Rolling Stone, the event that sparked this upsurge in Cuddle Demand was -- take a guess.

No seriously, take a guess. Psychically, psychologically profile the progressives.

What neurosis do they whine about every single year, a couple of times a year?

Got your answer?

Okay, see if you were right:

"The holiday season was the first time that since Trump won the election that a lot of people were seeing their family," says Adam Lippin, co-founder and CEO of Cuddlist...

Oh, the sissies have to face Rush-Limbaugh-listenin' Uncle Charlie at Thanksgiving. Another nervous breakdown.

Jesus save us from this sad wreckage of post-humanity.

The FBI admits it pushed its jurisdiction to the very limits of constitutionality as it now says it monitored social media for "Fake News" on election day.

That doesn't sound like a responsibility Congress gave the FBI. That sounds like something Obama did, extra-legally, with a pen and a phone.

Has the fat neurotic Stasi Agent Lena Dunham drawn enough attention to herself today? Well, I'm sure she doesn't think so. So here are two good pieces about her Hitler Youth thought-policing: Mary Katherine Ham mostly focuses on Lena's self-conception of herself as selfless and noble even as she takes vicious actions towards strangers solely for the warm feeling of Righteousness it fills her uninspiring chest with, and Robert Tracynski (I tried my best) discusses that the Progressive Social Hegemony now has a million Nazi Agents -- Hitler's willing eagles -- to enforce its edicts on us all.

Saying "I overheard a conversation" but giving no specifics might prompt American Airlines to send out a general notice to its employees to watch what they say while in the terminal--which is a little unsettling in itself. But giving specific information only has one purpose: to help the airline locate, identify, and punish these specific employees for holding politically incorrect views.

Itís the hashtag #acrossfromthewinebar that sent chills down my spine. Dunham is acting like an informant working for a totalitarian police state--but boastfully, in public, on social media. With a hashtag.

Let's call it what it is: She eavesdropped. Like a spy. Like a spy for a totalitarian shadow government.

Has Jim Acosta drawn enough attention to himself this week? Again, I think he'd say "Why no, I'd appreciate more camera time. In fact, I'll yell like a child if I don't have it."

To that end, this amusing piece about Jim Acosta pulling his mask off, and, indeed, the mask of CNN itself, exposing the whole shabby enterprise as merely #TheResistance's AV Club.

Finally, how about ending the week with some good news? And friends, do I have some genuinely good news for you.

Have you ever looked at your dog and cat and thought, "I like my pet, but what would make me love it is if it were decked out in accurate, detailed Samurai armor"?

Of course you have. We all have.

Well, then a Japanese company called (in English) "Samurai Age" is about to make you love your pet. (Video embedded below the jump.)

Embedded video below.

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posted by Ace at 08:46 PM

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