And Here We Go Again: "Thor," Who Was Turned Into a Woman in the Comic Books and Saw Sales Plummet, Now Says James Bond Should Be a Woman Too

Marvel Comics has replaced almost every single marquee character with a more "diverse" one: Thor is now Natalie Portman (Jane Porter). Captain America is now a Nazi/Hydra undercover operative, so the mantle of Captain America is worn by Sam Wilson, formerly called The Falcon. The Hulk has been replaced by the long-standing character She-Hulk -- though she's now just the Hulk -- and also by a young Chinese-American Millennial called Amadeus Cho, often called "Amadeus Bro" because of his Millennial/Radical, Dude! sort of persona.

His book isn't called "The Incredible Hulk." His book is called "The Totally Awesome Hulk." Because Radical, Dude!

Ironman is now "Ironheart" -- Tony Stark is missing in action, and a 15 year old black girl is now Ironman.

Even Wolverine isn't Wolverine any more -- Wolverine is now that girl from the Logan movie, called, formerly, X-23, but now officially "Wolverine." (An old version of Logan from a different timeline is also present in the universe, but he's called Old Man Logan, not Wolverine.)

How are the sales doing?

Dumpster fire, baby.

Marvel Comics aren’t doing well. Sales have declined, even as Marvel has pushed out every major event and crossover it can over the past two years. In a recent interview during the Marvel Retailer Summit, Marvel VP of Sales David Gabriel decided to ignore all the problems and criticism in order to place the blame on diversity.

What we heard was that people didn’t want any more diversity. They didn’t want female characters out there. That’s what we heard, whether we believe that or not. I don’t know that that’s really true, but that’s what we saw in sales. We saw the sales of any character that was diverse, any character that was new, our female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their nose up against. That was difficult for us because we had a lot of fresh, new, exciting ideas that we were trying to get out and nothing new really worked.

Has it occurred to any of these people that Tony Stark is more than just the suit? Like, Batman is more than just the costume; people respond to the character of Bruce Wayne, too. You can't just take a completely different character -- and one the audience hasn't spent decades following -- and put him in the same costume or give her the same name and say "This is your new Batman."

I guess Chris Hemsworth doesn't know the gender switch was tried for the character he plays on screen -- Thor changed into "Thor, The Female Version" -- and the numbers cratered.

Because now he's calling for the same thing for James Bond.

Chris Hemsworth is best known for his role as the Norse god Thor in the “Avengers” movies. But outside of cinema, Hemsworth has had a hard time fitting in with the progressive left, who have slammed him for violating every progressive tenet, ranging from cultural appropriation to transphobia.

Unable to stop making politically incorrect gaffes, Hemsworth has now taken it upon himself to call for a woman to play the role of the next James Bond.

In an interview with W Magazine about the new film “Atomic Blonde,” the actor revealed that he would like to see Charlize Theron take on the role.

If Charlize Theron is already playing a super-spy clearly modeled as a female version of James Bond -- why does she actually need to play "James Bond" as well?

It's as if they're admitting from the start that they have no faith in a real female character. It has to be a knockoff gender-swapped female character who just cannibalizes the existing fan base of the male original.

This is so stupid -- "James Bond" isn't a unique individual. He's a 00 agent -- and there are more of them. If you wanted a "female James Bond," you could just run a movie in the same universe as the James Bond franchise, and just make her -- get this! -- a completely distinct, original character that is a female 00 operative.

Say, aren't Shared Universes the big thing anyway?

You wouldn't even have to make her a British agent. You could say the CIA has its own 00-type program and she's an American. To make her different than the James Bond character. What an idea.

Then you could make money by following the Avengers model of a crossover/team-up. Why, they could even start on opposite sides of the adventure and have a fight before realizing they're actually working against the same enemy, albeit from two different angles.

But no, we should all follow the Lady Ghostbusters and Marvel failed models of just gender-swapping established heroes and hope it'll work out better this time.

Can we have any female characters who aren't fundamentally parasitic free-riders on the goodwill and legacy of male characters?

I guess not. I guess we're all done with making new characters or any kind of new movies, period.

Frankly, I want the media destroyed far more than I care about another dismal James Bond movie so I hope they actually take Hemsworth's advice and just set their IP on fire, forever.

posted by Ace at 06:51 PM

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