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March 24, 2017

Open Thread/Stories I Didn't Get To

Accused killer of two invokes "Islamophobia" as a defense. He also wounded three others by firing a gun at them in their van. None of the victims had a weapon. He claims now that they were possessed of a "Terrorist" intent to kill Muslims.

Here's a key sentence:

During the bond hearing, he asked an assistant prosecutor if he was a "Zionist Jew"

You gotta read this. And you gotta see his picture. He looks like Mongolian Pit Fighter #3 in Conan the Barbarian.

Twitter, which has made less money in its 11 year existence than most 11 year old children, is now considering a "premium Twitter" for which they will charge real money. LOL.

"Premium Twitter." Like "AIDS DeLuxe." It's not just AIDS -- you get the full "STD Rainbow Package," for just $6 extra per month, for the first six months, but then it costs $300 per week and they give you bonus drug-resistant AIDS. You also get a Free Landline you'll never use. But the real selling point here is all the AIDS.

John Nolte lays out the case that it has already been proven that Obama wiretapped Trump.

Video I haven't watched yet, but will do so shortly: Girl lost alone in the desert near the Grand Canyon for five days recorded her thoughts and fears into her iPhone.

Sad story. Very sad she didn't think to use the iPhone to call someone.

Just kidding of course. She had to hike 25 miles to get to someplace with cell phone reception.

This is nice:

During a solo trip to the Grand Canyon in which Amber VanHecke became stranded in a remote part of Arizona, she found comfort in a family of prairie dogs. The Denton woman said she and the animals became comfortable enough friends that the prairie dogs ate out of the palm of her hand.

"You have to entertain yourself in the dead hours," VanHecke said. "I honked my horn to make [coyotes] leave the prairie dogs alone."

The 24-year-old, who was stranded for five days, says she owes her survival to skills she learned as a Girl Scout in Plano, including how to shoot a signal flare.

Here's a longer compilation of her video journal.

It's really gonna suck when this turns out to be viral marketing for Prepper Pete's House of Canteens and Signal Flares.

I haven't read this one yet, but scientists are developing an artificial intelligence of synthetic neurons made of light. The light-based brain has already issued its first calculation:

MEN WHO GIVE WOMEN ORGASMS ARE SELFISH PATRIARCHS

So that's good.

On this one, I just can't even.

I can't even on this one, either.

Illegal immigrant accused of sexually assaulting a three year old.

Give him sanctuary, work papers, and his picture on a Cheerios box, stat! We need this guy. All depends on this.

This is kind of hilarious -- some members of the permanent bureaucracy upset that people outside the government are criticizing them. The poor dears!

I expect leaks and IRS audits to follow.

McDonald's is rolling out an experimental automated ordering system, which I expect will be "experimental" for about ten minutes before it's implemented as the entire industry's standard. It really makes no sense to have people, often with language-barrier problems, take orders and punch little buttons on a keyboard when customers can even more rapidly punch those little buttons themselves. I'm surprised it took the Fight for Fifteen wage hike to start this.

Well that's all I got.

GAINZZZ, brahs.

Oh: Below, video of the giraffe who won't foal. Or whatever you call it with a giraffe.

My ESP is telling me tonight is the night. She looks like she's finally gonna do it.


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posted by Ace at 08:22 PM

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