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March 02, 2017

Can't Let Go.

"What? Of course Hillary won. What do you mean, she didn't? That can't be right. Trump couldn't have won. He was behind in every poll. It just can't be. All of this must be a dream. A very bad, computer-simulated dream:

And so both of these bizarre events put one in mind of a simple but arresting thesis: that we are living in the Matrix, and something has gone wrong with the controllers.

Yes, that's right, the Oscar kerfluffle, the Patriots improbable Super Bowl win, and, of course, Trump's election just *prove* that we're in a simulation that has gone wrong.

This wasn’t just a minor kerfuffle. This was a major malfunction. Trump cannot be President; forgetting all the bounds of ideology, no one vaguely like him has ever existed in the long list of Presidents, good, bad, and indifferent; no one remotely as oafish or as crude or as obviously unfit. People don’t say “Grab ’em by the pussy” and get elected President. Can’t happen. In the same way, while there have been Oscar controversies before—tie votes and rejected trophies—never before has there been an occasion when the entirely wrong movie was given the award, the speeches delivered, and then another movie put in its place. That doesn’t happen. Ever.

Or, perhaps the designer is just messing with us? Can that be ruled out?

No, the linked piece is not from the Onion, and yes, the author sounds serious. And yes, it was approved for publication. That's what's astounding about this. Some editor at New Yorker accepted the article, read it, and said yes, let's print it.

Also, along these same lines, GQ recently published some fap art for Democrats and #NeverTrump-ers, namely, a bunch of cartoons celebrating the ascendency of dowager empress Hillary that never happened. Some of the cartoons are pretty creepy, and by that I mean it's Kim-Jong-Un-personality-cult creepy.

And the butthurt! Oh, the glorious, rankling, resentful butthurt is absolutely delicious. They're all "coulda shoulda woulda" and waah waah waah.

It must hurt a lot. They were within a hair's breadth of having it all, and Trump was the wrecking ball that shattered their dreams.


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posted by OregonMuse at 11:15 AM

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