The National Laughingstock Coordinates Another Hit With Obama's Loyalist Leave-Behinds | Main | Claire McCaskill Has Committed Twitter Perjury and Most Likely a Very Serious Violation of the Very Serious Logan Act
March 02, 2017

Can't Let Go.

"What? Of course Hillary won. What do you mean, she didn't? That can't be right. Trump couldn't have won. He was behind in every poll. It just can't be. All of this must be a dream. A very bad, computer-simulated dream:

And so both of these bizarre events put one in mind of a simple but arresting thesis: that we are living in the Matrix, and something has gone wrong with the controllers.

Yes, that's right, the Oscar kerfluffle, the Patriots improbable Super Bowl win, and, of course, Trump's election just *prove* that we're in a simulation that has gone wrong.

This wasn’t just a minor kerfuffle. This was a major malfunction. Trump cannot be President; forgetting all the bounds of ideology, no one vaguely like him has ever existed in the long list of Presidents, good, bad, and indifferent; no one remotely as oafish or as crude or as obviously unfit. People don’t say “Grab ’em by the pussy” and get elected President. Can’t happen. In the same way, while there have been Oscar controversies before—tie votes and rejected trophies—never before has there been an occasion when the entirely wrong movie was given the award, the speeches delivered, and then another movie put in its place. That doesn’t happen. Ever.

Or, perhaps the designer is just messing with us? Can that be ruled out?

No, the linked piece is not from the Onion, and yes, the author sounds serious. And yes, it was approved for publication. That's what's astounding about this. Some editor at New Yorker accepted the article, read it, and said yes, let's print it.

Also, along these same lines, GQ recently published some fap art for Democrats and #NeverTrump-ers, namely, a bunch of cartoons celebrating the ascendency of dowager empress Hillary that never happened. Some of the cartoons are pretty creepy, and by that I mean it's Kim-Jong-Un-personality-cult creepy.

And the butthurt! Oh, the glorious, rankling, resentful butthurt is absolutely delicious. They're all "coulda shoulda woulda" and waah waah waah.

It must hurt a lot. They were within a hair's breadth of having it all, and Trump was the wrecking ball that shattered their dreams.


digg this
posted by OregonMuse at 11:15 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
t-bird: "[i]"Abortion rates in the US hit historic low, CDC ..."

Don Q, singing the Song of Angry Men: "Sitting Biblically? Well... there is a Missiona ..."

NaCly Dog[/i][/b][/s]: "[i]Alas Balloon[/i] does not have that certain Boo ..."

Anonosaurus Wrecks, I'm Dreaming of a White Privilege: "It's like Hemingway said, the scum also rises. ..."

Kindltot: "[i]Help I got turkeycomatitus.Posted by: freaked ..."

FenelonSpoke: "Posted by: Count de Monet at November 23, 2017 05: ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "OT, it's raining here in Peon Country. And well ab ..."

illiniwek: "that mail bomb thing was a year ago ... ..."

Bozo Conservative....outlaw in America: " --"Living in the shadows" Posted by: logprof ..."

FenelonSpoke: ""By the waters of balloon we sat down and wept Psa ..."

rickb223 [/s][/b][/i][/u]: "Hey everybody. One of my FB friends posted the ..."

illiniwek: "crazy woman tried to blow up Gov Abbot with a mail ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64