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November 11, 2016

Mid-Morning Open Thread [OregonMuse]

Middle Earth map_525.jpg
Map of Arda, Including Middle Earth

Here is one possible map of the area of J.R.R. Tolkien's imagination known as Middle Earth. He spent most of his adult life working on it and filling it out.

The above map is so tiny, you can see hardly anything So please click on it to get the big picture. Especially if you're a Tolkien fan. You'll be glad you did.

That little area in the red box? That's the part of Middle Earth where pretty much all of the action of both The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring trilogy takes place. Similarly, we're used to thinking of the FOTR as this yuuuge epic, and it certainly is, but it's actually a relatively small part of Tolkien's vast scheme of things.

The red box doesn't show up on the embiggened pic because I could only add it to the small pic I stored on my hard drive.

As probably most of you know, in order to tell the history of Middle Earth, Tolkien invented whole languages and borrowed others, such as the language of Rohan, which I've heard is actually an obscure dialect of c. 5th century English.

Incidentally, this is not the only possible rendition of what Middle Earth could have looked like. See, for example, this one and that one. And this one in particular.

And now for something completely different (below the fold)

Trump's Fantasy Cabinet

Like many of you, I have been greatly enjoying seeing Donald Trump crush his enemies, seeing his enemies driven before him, and hearing the lamentation of their women.

All well and good.

But I think he'll need good advice on who to pick for his cabinet in order to help him fulfill his dream, and ours, of making America great again, and so I know that those of us here at AoSHQ are very eager to provide that advice.

A number of these cabinet positions are for departments that should be eliminated in the downsizing that needs to be done to restore the federal government back to reasonable limits. I have designated these departments as 'TBE' (to be eliminated). Also departments I couldn't think of anybody that would fit.

Anyway, here is who I came up with:

Department of State
John Bolton (and really, could there really be any other choice?)

Department of the Treasury
Rand Paul

Department of Defense
Mike Flynn

Department of Justice
Rudy Giuliani (we'd want him to first root out all of the termites inserted by the Obama administration, which actually may turn out to be a full-time job)

Department of the Interior
Sarah Palin

Department of Agriculture

Department of Commerce
Rick Perry (probably should be TBE)

Department of Labor
Scott Walker (probably should be TBE, but we need somebody to keep an eye on corrupt unions)

Department of Health and Human Services

Department of Housing and Urban Development

Department of Transportation

Department of Energy

Department of Education

Department of Veterans Affairs (really belongs under the Department of Defense)
Allen West

Department of Homeland Security (also belongs under the Department of Defense)
Joe Arpaio (hey, the dude needs a job after this election)

Head of IRS
Al Sharpton (well, nothing like getting a fox to guard the henhouse, right?)

Attorney General
Ted Cruz

Surgeon General
Ben Carson

White House Press Secretary
Milo Yiannopolis (I'm certain Milo would do this for free, so we'd save money here)
Alternates: Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter

Poet Laureate
Seamus Muldoon

And now here are my choices for some little known, but equally important, White House positions:

Shoeshine Boy
Ben Howe

Glenn Beck

Dana Perino

Knob Polisher
William Kristol

Toilet Scrubber
Rick Wilson (and if he does a good job, he will eventually be given a brush)

Cabana Boy on President Trump's Luxurious Yacht
Erick Erikson

Presidential Ashtray
The Hollowed-Out Skull of Ben Shapiro

So these are my choices. What are yours?

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posted by Open Blogger at 09:45 AM

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