The Thursday ONT is Puttin' on the Gifs! [Weirddave]

WARNING, THIS IS A GIF HEAVY POST. IT MAY LOAD SLOWLY BELOW THE CUT

ETA Apparently, the gifs were still causing problems for some people, even below the cut. I've changed all of the embedded gif to links. Click the link below each line to view the gif.

I'd like to open by letting you all know what an honor it is to be asked to address this distinguished ONT. I know it's been a long day for most of you, so I'll try to keep this brief.

* pause for applause *

What does one say to a group of such fine young men and women? Certainly, I may have life experiences that you lack, but that is only due to my advanced age and the good luck I've had not to fall into any open manholes. You people today are certainly smarter than I was at your age, and a good many of you are better looking – not you Ace. Again, what does one say to such bright young group of future leaders? There's a reason these things run to cliches, and that's because those of us tapped to address groups like this ultimately only have our life experiences to fall back on. With that in mind, I'd like share just a few words of advice.

First of all, be aware that it's a mean old world out there. You will run into lots of folks who don't have your best interests at heart.

You need to be on your guard at times. In some cases, betrayal will come from those who you trust the most, like a friend, a lover - or even a parent.

Be careful, and always make sure you're wearing proper safety equipment,

but make sure you take a moment to ensure that that person who you think is screwing with you isn't doing you a huge favor instead.

That doesn't mean that you should approach life with fear. Be bold and confident of your abilities, and there is no limit to what you can accomplish.

Take the time to cultivate good friendships. Together two people can often achieve feats which a single person would find impossible.

And when you find that friend, make sure you hold on to them. There is nothing more valuable in the world.

Also, make sure you take the time to improve yourself. Try to exercise every day, and you'll be astonished to find out how much better you feel.

Most of you will shortly be entering the working world, and this will present its own set of challenges. There will be times when you feel like the mob is closing in on you, and there is no escape.

When this happens, relax. Take a deep breath. If it turns out that mistakes were made, don't be afraid to admit it. You'll find that honest humility serves you well in most situations.

The last thing you want to do is to act in haste and anger your co-workers.

You will fail often,

but don't let that stop you. Power through and keep going.

At times, it will seem that God himself has it in for you,

but it's important that you keep experimenting with new things,

and looking for innovative new ways to solve old problems.

If you can do that while retaining a joy in your work,

well, you'll find that as time goes on, you'll get better and better at your job,

until one day you'll be able to nail any task put before you LIKE A BOSS.

Relationships present a special challenge. I know none of you believe it now, but at some point in your life, you WILL get caught in a compromising position.

You can't avoid it, but the chances of it happening will be greatly decreased if you make an effort not to lose control of yourself in the pursuit of your passions.

In closing, let me just remind you to always take a moment to celebrate your accomplishments,

and always, always make sure that you're the coolest person in the room.

Thank you for having me. May God bless the ONT, and don't forget The Yahoo Group! Goodnight!

(All of the Gifs used in this post were taken from the @cctv_idiots Twitter feed.)

SINCE THE GIFS ARE SLOWING EVERYBODY DOWN, THERE IS A NEW THREAD ABOVE FOR COMMENTS

posted by Open Blogger at 10:30 PM

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