Talk Like Trump Thread

If you follow Trump on Twitter, you see he has a specific style of messaging. The formula is Brief Opening Thought, Vague Elaboration, and then a Brief Summary With an Exclamation Point!

Like he'll go (I'm making this up, but this is the pattern):

Immigration policy is a disaster. A real shambles. People ought to be ashamed. Build the wall!

Anyway, I noticed that and started doing a Trump impression on Twitter.

I thought maybe you guys would want to try, because it's kind of fun.

Here are some Trumpian thoughts to get you started:

Bill DeBlasio. Face like a firetruck. Probably not nice to his kids. Bad mayor!

...

Marco Rubio. Nice guy. A little too nice. Not so nice with his credit cards. Slick bandit!

...

Casino business. Tough business. I don't have to tell Chris Christie. I made a lot of money, to be honest. Always split 8s!

...

Darth Vader. Nice guy, loved his son. Controversial guy. Tough guy, maybe too tough. Got things done. Ted Cruz is a foreigner!

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Robin Williams, terrible shame. Clown who cried inside. Saw him on Mork, used to sit on his head. Hairier than a yak!

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Refractory period. Some guys need longer to "go" again. Like Jeb Bush. Probably takes three weeks. Not me. I'm bing-bing-bing. Once had Tanya Roberts!

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Adele's new album. People say it's good. In all fairness, she's a little heavy. But that's fine, some people like that. Like Jeb Bush!

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Channing Tatum. I don't know who this is. I hear the name. Can't tell you who he is. Gays seem to like him. And that's ok. I like cupcakes!

...

Anyway, try some Trumpkus if you like. Or open thread. I'll put another thread up, like with real content, up soon, but keep coming back to this one. I'm going to post more. I like this joke.

posted by Ace at 04:51 PM

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