The Mystery of the Vanderbilt Poop Hatecrime Solved: It Was a Blind Girl's Seeing Eye Dog's Poop, Which She Had Left on the Ground Because She Couldn't Find a Trashcan

So a poop was found on the ground at Vanderbilt. This was reasonably assumed to be a human poop, and further reasonably assumed to be a Deliberate Hate Crime Provocation Designed to Make the Minority Community Feel Unsafe.

All of those assumptions are, of course, completely warranted, and well worth having a panic and witch-hunt over.

But sometimes, even given assumptions so very modest and reasonable, things turn out differently than that which has been imagined.

Motivated by the fake protest at Mizzou, Vandy decided they needed to have their own anti-racism protest...

The day after the protest the protest group's wet dream happened -- there was poop in a black bag on the front steps of the black cultural center.

Racist poop!

RACIST POOP!

WE'VE GOT RACIST POOP!

This Vandy group immediately denounced the poop on the steps as a hate crime....

"The Hidden Dores team is appalled to announce that our demonstration yesterday was met this morning with a vile act. This morning someone left a bag of feces on the porch of Vanderbilt University's Black Cultural Center. The center has served as the nexus of many aspects of Black(sic) life on Vanderbilt's campus since it's (sic) inception 31 years ago. The violation of a place that in many ways is the sole home for Black(sic) students is deplorable.

...

Who was the horrible racist who left dog poop on campus steps?

Well, it turns out that it was a blind female student whose seeing eye dog pooped on campus and she couldn't find a trash can.

She posted this on Facebook. (I have edited it down because this is the longest post I have ever read about dog poop).

I would like to inform everyone on this campus that no racial threat occurred. I am a blind student on this campus with a guide dog. I was meeting with a group last night to go over our debate for one of my sociology classes. My dog did her business outside on the grass and I picked it up and put it in a bag like always...I did not want to bring the feces inside and make the building smell, so I left it outside by the door...Everyone is going to point me out now as the blind girl who left her dog feces by the black cultural center. I am sorry that I do not know where all the trash cans are on main campus...

I didn't understand the full dimensions of the butchery in Paris until I read this shocking tale of the discovery of some dog poop in a doggie bag on the ground.

Now, I understand.

#JeSuisParis

#JeSuisMizzou

#JeSuisVanderbilt

posted by Ace at 06:54 PM

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