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May 16, 2015

Boxing Court

There should be something called "Boxing Court," an alternative to resolutions sought in courtrooms, since court dockets are filled with nearly worthless lawsuits involving people who are simply angry at one another. In many of these cases, litigants might enjoy a chance to take a poke at each other. Disputes would be solved faster, and it would trim overstuffed court dockets. And people could get it out of their systems--even if they lost.

In any lawsuit, either party could file a Motion to Box in the same way they might file a Motion to Dismiss. If agreed upon, waivers would be signed, and damage claims would be dropped. Litigants would wear head protection and, of course, gloves.

And it should be televised.

"In this corner, we have John Doe, who has a beef with his ex-boss. He thinks he was unfairly dismissed and that his boss is unprofessional and a jerk who retaliated when Doe informed on him for harassment."

"And in this corner, we have John Smith, who says he has never acted unprofessionally and that John Doe is an ungrateful liar who should have been fired a dozen times over and who feels John Doe should be punished for his false claims of harassment."

"Our judge tonight is Mills Lane."

"Let's get ready to rummmmmmble!"

Mills Lane: "Gentlemen, no low blows, head butts, or rabbit punches. If I see that, I'll rule you in contempt of court and have the bailiff take you immediately to jail. We're here to settle some nasty issues tonight. In the case of Doe v. Smith... gentlemen, lets get it on!"

I'd watch that. Beats watching Judge Judy.

Also, open thread.

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posted by rdbrewer at 03:01 PM

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